I love to take the last Thursday of the year to reflect on the Word of the Year I’d chosen and evaluate how I did with it. Of course, 2024 did not go how I planned, LOL. So when I pulled up my post from January 1, where I talked about what I hoped to (RE)Discover, I read it with fond smile at my own ignorance of what was to come…and with gratefulness for how everything turned out.

I ended my Word of the Year post on January 1 with this:

What will 2024 bring? I have no idea. But as I walk through the months to come, I intend to do it with a heart of discovery. With eyes open to things old and new. With a creative mind and eager hands and a fearless heart ready to explore and discover whatever God shows me this year.

Honestly, guys, just reading that brings tears to my eyes now. Because I truly had no idea what was coming. I had no idea that the exhaustion I was battling in December, and which continued into the new year, wasn’t just overwhelm or overload…it was cancer. I had no idea that so many of my goals would fall by the wayside as I underwent chemo and surgery.

And yet…

And yet, I still approached it with a heart of discovery. I still approached it with eyes open to things old and new. I clung to creativity and fearlessness and looked on the whole situation with a question of “What will you teach me through this, Lord? How will You show up?” And that wasn’t me. That was God holding me close. God preparing my heart and mind even before I knew what was coming. That was God pouring out His goodness and keeping me safe in the palm of His hand.

On my list of things I wanted to (RE)Discover were the following:

1. Reading
2. Extended family
3. Creativity
4. Responsibility

So how did I do with them all?

1. Reading

Well, I can claim total victory with this goal! 😉 In 2023, I read 54 books, 29 of which were in audio form. I’d noticed last December that I’d somehow lost the ability to just sit with a book in my hands and read, without feeling like I had to pop up every 15 minutes to DO something. I wanted to remedy that and get back to one of my first loves–just sitting and getting lost in a physical book. I set an ambitious goal of 100 books for 2024 and treated it as a priority. Instead of TV, I read. I read historical fiction and fantasy, mostly, but some contemporaries too, and some non-fiction. When I was tired, I read. When I was waiting for an appointment or getting an infusion, I read.

At one point in November, my husband laughingly observed, “You’re reading another book? Didn’t you just finish one this morning?” and I replied, “Hey, I’m not going to get to 100 by sitting around and not reading!” 😉

I used the StoryGraph app to help me keep track, and it let me know if I was on schedule, behind, or ahead. Mostly I stayed on schedule throughout the year. I got behind by 2 or 3 books during the month of September, when I was using that free time to write instead of read, but I caught back up after surgery, when I literally couldn’t do much else.

As of today, I have read 102 books, and I daresay I’ll add a few more to that number by midnight on December 31. I always read more during Christmas week than most other times, since I take off work.

Did you have a reading goal for the year? How many books did you want to tackle? Did you meet your goal?

2. Extended family

I was keenly aware at the end of last year that I’d drifted apart from much of my extended family, and I wanted to remedy that. In January, my paternal grandmother died (we knew it was coming), and I could reflect on the beautiful, complicated, broken grief that came from a beautiful, complicated, broken life. Then, of course, came the painful lump in my breast. Though my instinct is actually to keep that very private and not talk about it to anyone, I made an early decision to involve my family. My mom drove me to my biopsy. When I got the news that it was cancer, David urged me to stop at my parents’ house on my way home and tell them in person instead of via phone call.

Cancer isn’t the way I wanted to reconnect with my extended family, but as I look back on the year and think about this goal, I can see how God used it to do just that. It was such a blessing to feel my family rally around me. To receive meals that they made for me. To get phone calls asking how I was doing, to have them leave voicemails with a group of them praying for me before surgery. I’m an introvert, which is why family gatherings can be draining for me, but this year I knew that when I made the effort, it really mattered, and that no one begrudged it when I had to duck out early because I was exhausted. My sister and I got together for coffee or lunch quite a few times, and it was always such a joy to just enjoy each other.

And speaking of my sister–just need to brag on her a bit. One of her goals for the year was to run her first marathon, and she did it on November 16 in Savannah, Georgia! She did an amazing job with a time of 4 hours, 36 minutes, 54 seconds, which was faster than she expected. We had an impromptu surprise party for her when she got home (just my family, hers, and our parents and grandmother), and I loved hearing her stories and seeing all her pictures. So proud of you, Jen!!

3. Creativity

Boy, I had quite the list of creative things I wanted to do in 2024!

I want to try new things. I want to master the sprayed edges of books. I want to write more fantasy. I want to write novellas and shorts. I want to try my hand at suspense. I want to find new artistic outlets. I want to learn how to do TikTok videos. I want to find ways to redesign my space (preferably for free, ha ha). I want to play the piano more. I want to learn new things.

I did indeed start doing sprayed edges, and it was fun! I was too tired during chemo to keep it up, but I love the ones I did before that, and I used them to launch my TikTok page…which I also neglected after diagnosis, though I hope to pick it back up in 2025.

I didn’t do the extra writing I had hoped to do, but I feel very satisfied with the writing I did. At the start of the year, the only thing that was on my official calendar was one book for Tyndale, The Collector of Burned Books. But contracts from Guideposts popped up throughout the year, so I ended up with three contracted books due, as well as Awakened (my fantasy), which I finished this year and put on the WhiteCrown production calendar. So that ended up being 4 finished books, plus a novella due to Tyndale in spring of 2025 which I wanted to write during this holiday season, since it’s a Christmas story, about Jolabokaflod, the Icelandic “Christmas Book Flood” all about reading books on Christmas Eve…and eating chocolate. 😉

I didn’t play the piano more, but I did do some other artistic things–I made it a point to design some new bookish products each season to make available on my shop through Printify! I did shirts and flags and mugs…so much fun! And I redesigned my space a little–namely, I reorganized Xoe’s shelves attached to the desk I use when she’s not home and made it suitable for a TikTok backdrop. I really love how it turned out!

4. Responsibility

This one was added to the list because at the end of 2023, I was feeling so exhausted and burned out that even the responsibilities I had chosen and which I loved were beginning to wear on me, and I didn’t like the feeling of resentment I began to have for them. I wanted to really embrace the things God had put in my life and which we can chosen.

I will admit that there were days this summer when I was so tired and felt so sick that I didn’t want to do the things that needed done. I wanted to be able to not. But I didn’t have that luxury, so I kept doing. I rested more than usual, yes, but I kept up with my design schedule, with our production and publication schedule, and with my writing schedule.

And you know what? I am so, so glad I did. Having all that to focus on kept me going, kept me from wallowing, and filled me with joy as I ticked off projects. All that bitterness and resentment that came from exhaustion melted away, and I was once again grateful for the responsibilities God has given us.

Conclusion

2024 was not what I expected, and certainly not what I would have chosen. But you know what? In the ways that matter, 2024 was amazing. It showed me so much about the family of God, the Church. It left me feeling overwhelmed with love instead of exhaustion. It buoyed me emotionally and spiritually when the physical may have left me tired.

Perhaps some of the discoveries I made were things I’d have loved to stay ignorant of–like the chemo and radiation and immunotherapy process. But there have been so many blessings in those discoveries too. I rediscovered my love of reading, my family, and my love for what I do.

Did I do everything I had hoped? Nope. But I don’t at all mind having some of those items left to carry over into 2025. I don’t mind that I’ll have to start over on some of them, like that TikTok profile. I don’t mind that I only wrote what I “had” to write.

Because 2024 was indeed a year of discovering and rediscovering. It was a year of encouragement and blessing amidst the trials. And I leave 2024 with more joy in my heart than I probably would have expected had someone told me ahead of time that it would be a year of cancer. Much of it falls into the “let’s not do this again” category…but I have no regrets. No lack of peace. I can look over 2024 and know it was a year well lived, thanks to the faithfulness of our God and His people.