One year ago, I shared about “The Day That Changed Everything…and Nothing” — the day my son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. That day that, had we lived in the eras I so love to write about it, he would have died. I know I’ve mentioned this new life a few other times since, but I try not to inundate you all, LOL.
However, it’s November, which means Diabetes Awareness month. It’s exactly one year since I shared that super-long, super-vulnerable post linked above. It’s been 13.5 months since that Day. I thought it would be a good day to invite all of us to pause and look at the quiet warriors among us. Those with invisible diseases that they fight every day. Every…day. Those who wage wars most of us would never dream. Those who fight with faith and hope under burdens so very heavy. I’m not just talking about T1Ds here, I’m talking about all those quiet warriors.
I remember years ago, my best friend was getting her son ready for Halloween. He had epilepsy, and they were on the crazy-intense medical keto diet to try to give his brain a chance to heal itself (and it worked, praise God!). She was telling me about how, all around the country, there were people who put out teal pumpkins–something she’d never paused to think about until it was her kid who needed it. Teal pumpkins, you see, are filled with non-candy treats in consideration of kids with extreme food allergies. And since part of the diet is absolutely NO sugar, this was imperative for her son–candy was an absolute NO. As they hunted through their neighborhoods for teal pumpkins, she was so, so touched that people cared enough about these kids who couldn’t have candy to do that. I also remember her lamenting how her son looked perfectly normal from the outside, so people didn’t know how dangerous life could be for him. That at any moment, he could have a seizure and topple from the playground equipment and seriously injure himself.
That was when I first began to appreciate these quiet warriors among us. Maybe they’re the kids sitting next to yours on the bus. Maybe it’s the woman three cubicles over who has that annoying alarm going off all the time. Maybe it’s the older gentleman holding the door open for you as you rush into the store.
You can’t tell to look at them. But they’re fighting. They’re fighting diseases that are trying to silence them forever, and they’re doing it with bravery, with hope, with strength of spirit. They’re accepting the fact that there are all these lists of things that are “cannot”s for them. For instance, my son:
- Cannot eat without giving himself an injection
- Cannot eat without counting all the carbs
- Cannot eat without measuring everything out exactly
- Cannot go to bed without taking his long-acting insulin
- Cannot leave the house without his “go-bag” of insulin and sugar-laden supplies to bring up low blood sugars
- Cannot enjoy swimming or other activities without either pre-loading himself with sugar and protein or checking every few minutes to make sure he’s not dropping too low (low blood sugars can make a diabetic pass out or have seizures or, in extreme cases, die)
- Cannot take a shower within 30 minutes of taking insulin
These are just a few of his “cannot”s. These are the limitations that come with his particular war. It’s different, of course, for others. But no less a battle. No less a challenge.
Here’s the thing I’ve witnessed, though, in this last year. These warriors don’t focus on the negatives–they focus on what they CAN do. My son is stronger than he has ever been–physically and emotionally and mentally. He may sigh in frustration, but he does what he needs to do. I can count on one hand the times in the last year he has complained about anything diabetes-related. He gets up every day, and he faces it. He forgives me when I forget something he needs, puts on that stiff upper lip, and just waits for us to get home so he can eat. He laughs with me when we have to make an 8 a.m. detour to three different pharmacies in a strange town to try to find the needles that I didn’t put back in his bag. He learns. He adapts. He takes care of himself. He does not, for one minute, let this disease define him.
And that is the same sort of fortitude I’ve seen not only in other Type 1 kids and adults, but in so many others who have learned to live with what seems to us to be “too much to bear.” They do bear it. And they bear it with strength that inspires me…that inspires me not only to be strong, but to be considerate.
Because I never know what invisible war that person beside me is fighting. I never know if I’m putting them at risk with my actions. I never know if my assumption that they are “normal” because they look “normal” is adding a burden to their battle. I can’t know.
But what I can know is that everyone has some battle they are fighting. Whether it’s chronic illness or disease or depression, whether it’s any one of a thousand different things, they are a warrior. YOU are a warrior. And as a mom of such a warrior, I don’t just salute you–I support you. I will ask myself how I can protect you. How I can make your life easier. How I can consider what you need instead of how those needs may inconvenience me.
As a Type 1 family, we are praying for a cure, and we are so encouraged by the medical advances and studies going on even now (like this, as one example). We pray that someday there will be a solution that will manage this disease for my son, so that all those “cannot”s don’t always rule his days. But we also know that even if that day never comes, he will be a champion.
How do we know? Because we see all the champions that have come before. That are walking this same road even now. We see all the quiet warriors, breaking through enemy lines and seizing the day, chasing their dreams, trusting that even in the worst, there’s Someone holding them.
To all you quiet warriors, I pray God’s strength upon you. And I thank you. Your example has gotten us through this last year. And I can only pray that my warrior’s example will do the same for others.
Fight on!
The JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) is the nation’s leader in fundraising for this cause. They not only support research all across the country, they also provide networking and community opportunities for those living with Type 1.
I saw my oldest child, my daughter off to university in September, thinking that was going to be the biggest challenge of the year. One month later, I am here in the hospital as she is treated for Diabetes Ketoacidosus. She is diagnosed with Diabetes 1. It came out of no where. No one in our family has it, if she had not of gone to a dr that day (due to thirst , urination, fatigue) she would have been in a coma within hours or days. We may have lost her. This is new to us and I immediately thought of your posts about your son and your whole family having to learn a new lifestyle but how it is possible. It gave me great comfort. We are on our knees praising God for caring for our girl. But the fight continues. Especially the one against fear. Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m so glad my post could give you comfort, Jo! Those first weeks and months are terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. All the “what could have happened” thoughts are horrifying too. But it really does become normal and so much less scary as time goes on. With today’s technology–continuous glucose monitors (CGMs) and insulin pumps–diabetes care, while constant, is so knowable and doable. At this point, my 15-year-old son does absolutely everything on his own and manages his care so very well. He’s healthy and happy, and I know your daughter will be too! Make sure you both connect with some support groups. That helps SO much! If you’re on Facebook, search for a group called “Moms of Type 1 Diabetics.” They’ve taught me so, so much!
Thank you, Roseanna, for this thoughtful and encouraging post. My chronic neurological Lyme disease is one of those invisible diseases which limits me in so many ways, even having to speak or follow conversations are too hard, among many other things. People only see a tiny bit of what I cope with every day and most doctors don’t believe in it. Today I can’t even stay out of bed…but I am so grateful for your stories that keep me focused on Him and the many many ways He has met me in this. I’m not sure why God has had these 11 years and counting being so hard and extremely isolating and losing friends… but I know He is doing things and teaching me things. I just pray that if I can encourage one person and make their day better….it is enough.
I would like to know about the teal pumpkins. I have never heard of them and I really would like to offer this to the children in my neighborhood that I know cannot trick or treat because they have allergies to food and just trick or treat stuff.
Hi, Sandra! Here’s the official site for it, where you can even register your house so families in your area can find you! https://www.foodallergy.org/our-initiatives/awareness-campaigns/living-teal/teal-pumpkin-project
Thank you for this post. I have Asthma since i was 2 years old. When I was the age to trick or Treat there were no Teal pumpkins. i am allergic to peanuts,Fish,Eggs and Chocolate and several other foods that are too strong for me. teal pumpkins are a wonderful display for all children with illnesses. My maternal grandmother had Diabetes and a cousin has Juvenile Diabetes.
Cure for all diseases
Marion
That’s a great rallying cry, right there! Cure for all diseases, indeed! So grateful that we serve the Great Physician!
Hi Roseanna, My 23 year old son has a severe food allergy to tree nuts. He was diagnosed when he was 4 years old. Even though he is no longer little, I put out teal pumpkin offerings at any Halloween event we attend!! I know how much it means when others are considerate enough of a child’s condition to take the extra steps to make them feel normal by offering them a treat that is safe!! Fight on, Mama!!
Love that you still do it! (We don’t live in a neighborhood and have no trick-or-treating around us at all, but I would TOTALLY be on board, LOL.)
Thank you for writing such a touching, thought provoking letter! My whole family is and has been diabetic, but type 2. I will also continue to pray for a cure. Though I have had frustrating thoughts about the time it takes with the insulins and pills, I am thankful that we DO have these measures in place and remember the past when people died. Your son is an inspiration to others, believe me! I also want to thank you for all of the enjoyable books you have written.
Thank you for reading, Annette! Both the books and the post. 😉 Life with insulin and pills and blood sugar testing certainly isn’t carefree and easy, but yes, I am so grateful for all that’s available for us now and the leaps and bounds it has come in the last couple decades!