Last week we passed an idyllic seven days at the beach in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. I expected to have a great time–and I did. I had a fabulous time. We generally do. But as a mama, I’ve also known my fair share of vacation frustrations.

Because you don’t get a break from mommy responsibilities, right? Even now, when my kids are older, it isn’t as though they’re adults, out doing their own thing. They want me to build a sandcastle. And dig a moat. And dig a hole. And build a wall. Swim again, whether I’m ready to move or not. They still need to eat (the nerve!) and have someone to remind them to do those oh-so-crazy things like shower and brush their teeth.

I admit it. There have been times–many of them–on vacation or holidays when I had in mind what I wanted to do, and I got a bit frustrated when that went by the wayside in favor of what they wanted me to do.

I was determined to do it differently this time. And so I told myself from the start that if the kids wanted to build, we’d build. If they wanted to hunt for shells, off we’d go. I’d set aside my desires for this vacation and instead focus on theirs.

Crazy thing. Wanna take a guess how that went?

I had an absolute blast. And–and–I ended up with more time to do what I wanted (which is to say, read, LOL) than I ever have before on a vacation since those kiddos came along.

As I was contemplating this toward the end of the week, I realized it was a surrender, that decision. Not a surrender to them, but a surrender of me. I was still Mama, still the one with veto power, and yes, I still said things like, “Sure, sweetie, but can you give five minutes to warm up first?” But I’d already put that I-want on hold in my mind. It wasn’t there, it wasn’t allowed. And because I’d already dealt with it, it left me with this beautiful, sweet thing: peace.

I rather wish it hadn’t taken me so many years to figure this out–but isn’t that just like us, in life and in faith? How often do we cling to what we want to do, what we want to accomplish, what we want to be, when the treasure lies in letting it go? Giving it up and instead listening for what God will whisper?

Because when the Lord holds out His hand to me and says, “Let’s build something,” I don’t want to sigh and scowl at Him. I don’t want to be thinking, Really? Now? Don’t you know I’m busy with this other work?

I want to put my hand in His and see what we can create together. I want to let go of all the frustrations from interruptions and disappointments and give myself over to the Joy He prepares in every moment. I want to find that treasure hidden under the sand.

I want to store away hours of laughter with my family. I want to build memories for them like I have of my own childhood. I want to follow the Lord wherever He leads me. I want to stop and look at seashells, so carefully fashioned by His hand. I want to hear His whisper in the rush of the surf, or the breath of the wind, or in the silence of the night. And I want to remember that when I put aside me, I gain something oh-so-much better.

Us.