The Circles of Faith

The Circles of Faith

With my Patrons & Peers group, I’m reading a book called Devotional Classics, which has excerpts from all sorts of theologians from a variety of Christian backgrounds. A few weeks ago, we read a bit by Bernard of Clairveaux. He was talking about the four levels of devotion we go through.

First, we love ourselves for our own sake. Then we love God for our own sake. Then we love God for His own sake. Then, rarely, once in a while, we get a glimpse of how to love ourselves for God’s sake.

As we discussed this as a group, I mused that this growth can be explained as “circles” of faith.

Every human begins life with self-centered focus. This is perfectly natural. To quote one of my college professors, “Every baby is a tyrant.” And it’s true! We have to be taught to think about someone other than ourselves (and some of us are more successful at learning this than others, LOL). We are, at the core, the centers of our own universes.

I remember when I was a child, maybe six or seven, I was sitting in the car with one of my parents. We’d pulled to a halt at the end of our long, winding road, where it intersects the main thoroughfare through town, Rt. 28. I couldn’t tell you what season it was or where we were going. But I distinctly remember this moment where I looked at one of the cars driving by, saw the driver through the window, and had this strange epiphany.

I realized that was a person in that car–one I didn’t know. Whose name I didn’t even know. I realized that they were driving somewhere I wasn’t going, for a purpose that had nothing to do with my life. I realized they had joys and pains, friends and enemies…all very different from mine.

It’s at once silly and profound, but it represents a huge turning point in my young life–that point where I realized it wasn’t about me. When I realized that I had nothing to do with most of the world. I saw my own smallness, and instead of just being humbling (though it is that), what it really did was throw the doors of the world wide open.

It made me aware of all the many stories playing out all around me…stories I could learn if I looked beyond my own nose.

My circle expanded. It suddenly went beyond just me, my family, and my friends. It expanded to include strangers.

It’s likely no coincidence that was about the same time in my life when God and Jesus went from being vague concepts I learned about in church to beings that I loved. When I looked beyond me, much as Bernard says would happen, I began to see that there must be Someone greater than me, and that Someone is God. I realized that God loves me, and so I loved him back.

In this second phase, this second circle, we realize that God will hear our petitions, and so we make them. But a bit of the transactional still lingers in our understanding and in our thoughts.

We love Him because He first loved us. We love Him because He sent His son to die for us. We love Him because we eat and are filled. We love Him because of the signs and wonders. We love Him because He created. We love Him because He saved. We love Him because He answers our prayers.

We love Him for what He does.

This, too, is natural. After all, Jesus came to do things. He performed signs and wonders. But what did He say so many times in the Gospels? He accused people of having little faith because that was all they cared about.

Our circles are still too small. It’s still to close to that “me-centric” way of seeing things. But how do we expand it?

That comes when we separate our love from the transaction–both love of God and love of others. We stop loving Him for what He’s done and begin to love Him for who He is.

The same holds true of the people around us. We need to love people, not because they believe what we believe or think what we think, not because we like what they do or because they helped us out…we need to love people for who they are.

Image-bearer.
God-made.
Beloved of the Father.
Worthy of salvation.

It isn’t easy–neither having that love of humankind nor of God. And I don’t know about you, but I need constant reminders to stay in that circle. It’s so, so easy to slip back into “me.”

But you know what? That circle still isn’t the end-game. Not according to St. Bernard, and not according to God, and not according to our own experience either. You know where we really want to be, even if only for moments at a time?

That fourth circle, that fourth level of love and devotion is when we can see ourselves clearly, as God sees us.

We can see our smallness…and our greatness. We can see who we really are, apart from what we do. We can see how much He loves us and love ourselves in that same way, not with self-interest, but with pure grace, pure mercy.

In those moments, we know how we fit in the world. We might just be one little person in one little car on one little road in one little town in one little county in one little state in one little country…but He loves us. He loves us so much that He sent Christ to die for us. He loves us even though we’re petty and selfish and greedy. He loves us, and not because of those good deeds we did or how often we read our Bible. He loves us, not because of what we’ve done or dream of doing or refrain from doing.

He loves us because we are His. And so, in those glimpses of eternity, we love ourselves because we are His. 

Those moments are always fleeting. Just glimpses of our true place in our Father’s heart. But they equip us, friends, to go back to that third circle and dwell there with purpose.

Because when we see ourselves through God’s eyes, we see everyone else that way too. And you know what happens when we view others through God’s eyes?

We love them. Not for what they do. For who they are.

Who do we need to work on loving with God’s love today?

Let Your Peace Return to You

Let Your Peace Return to You

“And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town.” ~ Matthew 10:13-14

I’ll admit it. I always felt like I was missing something in these verses above. Something about that subjunctive phrase–the same structure used for God calling the universe into being, that let there be…–made me scratch my head. Or more accurately, made me wonder at the nature of peace, if it’s something that can go out from us to settle on a place but then can return to us.

Return to us, that is, in very specific situations–when people refuse to hear the Good News. When people won’t listen.

I understand, of course, that the shaking off of the dust is a testimony against those people (hence verse 15, which says it’ll be better for Sodom and Gomorrah than for that place in the last days–harsh judgment here!), but I still found it curious that it was linked to peace.

It’s something that hovers in the back of my mind whenever we’re talking about or studying peace. And in the current political climate (okay, in any political climate), there are certainly people shaking things at other people all over the place. Fingers, heads, and probably that metaphorical dust too.

You know what I’m not seeing a lot of? Peace. I don’t see it resting upon many houses, and I don’t see it returning to people either.

Something else continued to nag at me too. Was Jesus really telling us to give up on those people forever? He, who hung on the cross and forgave those who put them there? I can’t think so. Because a person or family or town who doesn’t hear the Gospel in one moment has historically had their “come to Jesus” moment later. Someone else went back to that person or house or town, and the result was different. As Paul points out, sometimes the seeds one person plants need to be watered by a second, tended by a third, and see the harvest with a fourth.

Why, then, does Jesus give this instruction?

I don’t think it’s just about those people who aren’t listening. I think He told us this for the sake of our hearts. Our minds. Our souls.

Because He knows us–He knows we worry. We fret. We obsess. We feel guilty. We take on ourselves what isn’t ours to carry. Jesus is telling the disciples He’s sending out, “Don’t take it personally. Be impartial. When people don’t hear you, don’t let it upset you. Let your peace return to you and move on.”

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t pray for people. It doesn’t mean they’re a lost cause.

It means we’ve done OUR part right NOW. It means we need to hand judgment over to Him and take a step back. We need to relinquish control. We need to trust Him. Cling to hope. Let go of what we wanted to see happen.

Be at peace. It’s not just a command. Jesus isn’t telling us DO THIS. That subjunctive is way more subtle. It’s an invitation that carries authority. The same Voice that said, “Let there be light” is saying “Let your peace return to you.”

What are we clinging to in concern that we need to let go of?

What contention are we holding that’s keeping our hearts from being at peace?

What effort do we need to step away from so that He can come in and do His work, or so that someone else can have their shot?

What house do we need to leave so that our peace can return to us?

What If We…?

What If We…?

What if we mourned with those who mourn…even when we’re happy about what has them sad?

What if we listened to the people we disagree with, not to gather ammunition to use against them, but to understand their point of view?

What if we prayed for our opposition instead of about them?

What if we stop looking for “gotcha!” moments and started looking for what we have in common?

What if we read things out of our comfort zone?

What if we sought not to tear down but to build up?

What if we paused before hitting “like” or “post” and asked, “Will this show others the love of Christ?”

What if we refused to put labels on people, and instead called each of them “beloved of the Father”?

What if we chose patience and kindness instead of outrage and condemnation?

What if we refused to boast about our “wins”?

What if we were willing to “lose” if it would help others see God’s love?

What if we refused to show disrespect to someone just because we disagree with them?

What if we pursued their desires above our own?

What if we were the last to be angered instead of the first?

What if we kept no record of the wrongs we perceive being done to us?

What if we rejoiced, not when we get our way, but when we make a friend of someone once an enemy?

What if we protected those who are desperate and alone instead of our own self-interest?

What if we were willing to trust that God’s love is bigger than our differences?

What if we hoped in Him instead of our own power?

What if we persevered in building bridges instead of burning them down?

What if our first, gut, knee-jerk reaction was love instead of hate?

Who Do We Hurt?

Who Do We Hurt?

In this charged political climate, I’m making an effort to read things from both sides of every issue. What am I finding? Aside from a disheartening amount of name-calling on both sides, I’m finding that both sides also often have a solid point.

Usually I have a knee-jerk reaction to a subject…but I then take a step back and ask, “Why is this my reaction?” And I read something from the opposite point of view.

A few weeks ago, there were varying reactions to a statement from the Vice President saying that loving our own first is a very Christian principle. I read reactions renouncing this. I read reactions affirming it. Both quoted from the Bible in their defense.

Because, yes, Jesus calls us to love our enemy and points out that sometimes those supposed enemies turn out to be our neighbors.

And, yes, Paul also tells us we must care for our families and communities.

I let all the ideas swirl around in my head for several days, and then my husband shared a reaction he read. One that really resonated. To paraphrase, it was this:

Yes, we are called to care for our own. But not at the cost of others.

Protect your family–but don’t hurt another family to do it.

Feed your community–but don’t steal food from another to accomplish it.

This helped me immensely to put it all in perspective. As I’ve noted before, there are a million good things demanding our time and attention, righteous things, Godly things. But we simply don’t have enough–time, resources, or heart–to give to them all. But when we choose the things we will support and champion, we don’t hurt the other causes to do so (or we shouldn’t, anyway).

To dig wells in Africa, we don’t propose finding slave labor from Asia to do it. To send clothing to the Arctic, we don’t rob those in the Andes.

Yes, there is a natural affection for our own–our town, our county, our state, our country. Yes, we need to take care of those around us.

But not at the expense of others.

And that’s what has brought me sorrow as I watch the name-calling, the tearing-down, the attitudes I’m seeing all over my country right now. That no one seems to care who they’re hurting–not each other in our own country, and all too often, not those outside it. I am grieved as I watch the behavior of people claiming to be Christians. Not because of what they’re doing, necessarily, but because of how they’re doing it. Because they are gleeful about causing others pain.

You know why it hurts my heart so much? Because we as Christians are not called to put our own country first. We are called to put GOD’S KINGDOM first. And do you know what God’s Kingdom on earth is?

The Church.

The Church should be where our first loyalty lies. And yet I see so many believers putting their own agendas above all else and then claiming it’s of God. I see so many Christians claiming it’s for God that we treat others cruelly, because it’s necessary to protect what’s ours.

I see many of the actions being done and recognize that the end could be good. But the means matter, friends. The means ALWAYS matter. It doesn’t only matter who we HELP. It matters who we HURT in the process. That’s my new way (or new way of voicing, anyway) of determining which side to take on an issue. Why?

Because a few weeks ago, as I was praying over the outrage around us, the corruption, the greed, I asked the Lord, When is the right time for me to get angry? And I sensed Him clearly saying, Love them. That’s all you’re expected to do. Just love them.

Not just my friends, but my enemies. Not just our own, but the others. Not just those we agree with, but those we don’t understand.

Love them first. Love will give us understanding. Understanding will help us have honest dialogue. Honest dialogue will effect real change, lasting change, righteous change.

Let’s not settle for “getting our way.” Let’s strive to bring God’s way, God’s kingdom, into our every interaction.

Strength Vs. Power

Strength Vs. Power

It’s natural to want power. I think often it starts as a reaction–we feel powerless, and so we seek to rectify that. We are ignored or neglected or abused or persecuted, and we want it to stop. How better to stop it than to wrest power from the oppressors, right?

We want to take control. We want to gain authority. We want to be able to say, “No,” and know it will be obeyed. We want to be the one to set down the law, to make policy, to create the rules and enforce obedience.

And yet there is a truism we all have heard, and which I’ve never heard anyone try to argue isn’t true: Power corrupts.

Sure, there are limited examples of people in power who maintain their morals, their principles, their faith. But are we ever really surprised when dark secrets come out? Or do we shake our heads and wonder why, why power has this effect on people? Don’t we always wonder what has gone wrong or why people slipped into the very habits they’d originally been against? Don’t we wonder why people focus so hard on denouncing one sin that they charge headlong into a different sin on the opposite side of the spectrum?

As my husband and I were discussing reactions people have to traumatic events in their lives, these words came tumbling out. I hadn’t thought it through, but as I said it, it made so much sense. I said, “It’s the difference between power and strength. When people hurt, when they feel powerless, they think the answer is to grab at the opposite: power. But what they really need is strength.”

Strength to endure, yes, but also strength to overcome. Strength to grow. Strength to protect. Strength to create rather than destroy.

We see this difference in political circles, yes, but not just there. We see it in a bunch of the -isms too–movements meant to combat the status quo. People want change, and so they seek the power to effect that change. And maybe that’s the best or only way to get things to be different, I don’t know…

What I do know is that power will always hurt the people it’s taken from. Power will always seek the good of one group at the expense of another. Power will always be insatiable.

Strength, though… Where power is about taking from others, strength is about you. It’s about becoming, not having. Growing, not ruling.

I’ve had many people comment on how I write strong heroines–women who are doing things that are unusual for their time or challenging prejudices or shining through adversity. This is absolutely, 100% true. But I am far from a feminist. (One of those -ists or -isms!) I believe everyone, male and female, should find their own inner strength, their faith in the God who gives them that strength, first. I believe that we MUST be strong individuals in order to be part of a healthy relationship (whether that relationship is romantic or a friendship or a family or a working relationship). I believe we should all chase our dreams, whether that dream is excelling in a field that doesn’t want to welcome us or raising our children or following in our parents’ footsteps.

I believe that strong individuals don’t need power, because they have something better: authority that they have earned. Strength breeds trust. Strength breeds commitment. Strength breeds cooperation.

Power breeds destruction. Power breeds contempt. Power breeds control.

In our society today, I see so many people–people I agree with on 98% of things–willing to compromise so many things for power. I see people blindly following those who embody that power or promise to share it for the low cost of their vote. I see people breaking relationships over the desire to be right.

And I sorrow. I grieve. Because it’s so, so easy to mistake power for strength. It’s easy to look at “winners” and want to jump on that moving train because of what they promise us.

But friends, examine the cost. Who is hurt by our gain?

The powerful will always, always crush their opponents under their heels. They will lash out and oppress the ones they first called oppressors.

The strong will protect the weak, even when they’re not on the same side. The strong will pray for their enemies. The strong will sacrifice for their oppressors to show them a better way. The strong will walk the extra mile, will give more than is demanded, will turn the other cheek.

The strong will give love in the face of hate.

What are we seeking today? Power to force our will on others…or strength to seek the will of the One who promised us His strength when we are weak?

Not for Us

Not for Us

As you no doubt realized in last week’s post, I’m reading through Acts again. This time I’m using the Word on Fire Bible, which has some amazing commentary from both modern scholars and historical ones, along with sacred art by some of the greatest masters of all time, word studies on terms in Greek or Hebrew we might be unfamiliar with, and so much more. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying the experience, and quite often the little essays or paragraphs of commentary make me see something in a new light.

Reading about the conversion of Paul this time around, I first had that thought about how it only took a few words to convince Paul he’d been wrong…then I read a note from Bishop Barron that really made me pause and think.

He pointed out that every time in Scripture–every time–God appears to man, it isn’t for the sake of that one person. It’s to equip them to go out and do the work of the Lord.

Moses didn’t see the burning bush just to convince him to have faith. He saw the burning bush so that he’d be the rescuer of hundreds of thousands of people.

Samuel didn’t hear the Voice of God to reassure him of anything. He heard the Voice of God so that the priesthood would be cleansed of sin and they could better serve the people.

Abraham didn’t receive the covenant just for his own salvation. He received the covenant so that all men, all nations, could come to salvation.

Saul didn’t see that blinding light just to turn his feet onto the straight and narrow. He saw that blinding light because God wanted to use him to reach the Gentiles.

I remember once when I was a kid, maybe twelve or thirteen, the Santmyires came home for a visit. They were full-time missionaries and had served in many different countries. I think at that point they were in Bulgaria, but honestly, I don’t recall where they’d come from. I just remember being so excited that their daughter Amber, who was a year older than me, was spending the night with us. I imagine her sister, Torrey, was too–I imagine Torrey and my own sister, Jennifer, were in Jen’s room talking about older-girl things long into the night. Amber and I stationed ourselves on the sectional couch in my living room, right in front of the wide bay windows that provide a stunning view of the valley below and the mountains beyond.

I don’t remember all of what Amber and I talked about that night. I know we laughed, I know we got into all the things that mattered to us. But I distinctly remember talking about the wonders of the Lord, and how we hoped that, someday, we could see one of His angels with our own eyes. We talked about the stories we’d heard of heavenly encounters. We wondered how angels must really look, given that their first words to humans always seemed to be “Don’t be afraid.”

And then we realized that we’d turned so that we were not looking out that big window. Because we were suddenly afraid we would see an angel, and that it would be terrifying. It gave us another laugh.

But it also stuck with me. Because, I think, even as a child, I understood that seeing the power of God with my own eyes would be so much more than an interesting story. And maybe because I recognized that seeing the power of God with my own eyes would mean flipping everything on its head. Because God doesn’t appear to those who just need to keep doing what they’re doing. He doesn’t appear to those who just need a little encouragement.

He appears to people whose lives are about to be shaken to their core, flipped on their heads, and sent on a whole new trajectory. When He’s going to call them from the only home they ever knew. From the path they thought was just. From the livelihood their families depend on. From the security of a life of oblivion. He appears to people who are going to be hated, cursed, reviled, persecuted, martyred, and thrown into battle without any formal training.

God has so many ways of speaking to us, encouraging us, and equipping us. I have experienced the wonder of those ways many times in my life, and I am so grateful for them. And even those smaller ways, those less-terrifying ways…they, too, speak to this key characteristic of God’s movement:

It’s never just for us. Because faith in Him, following Him, is never just for us. It’s for the world. It’s for the lost. It’s for the Church. It’s for our neighbor. It’s for our enemy. It’s for our family.

And most of all, it’s for Him.

He doesn’t appear to show us His glory. He appears to show us how to give that glory back to Him.

I don’t know if I’ll ever see an angel, or a blinding light, or hear a voice from Heaven that sounds like thunder to those around me. But I know this–every whisper, every breeze, every sunrise that calls to my heart in His voice, has a purpose, and that purpose isn’t just for me. It’s for equipping me to do His work.