Given to Tears

by Roseanna | Jan 15, 2026 | Thoughtful Thursdays

In my P&P groups, we have several members who “process through tears.” A phrase I’ve always been familiar with, because I have many friends and family members who do the same.

I’ve never been much of a crier. When I was a young teenager, we got the news that my grandfather had cancer, and while the rest of my family cried, I…couldn’t. Instead, I went back to my room and wrote a poem called “Why Do I Smile?” This is, in a nutshell, very typical of me. I don’t process through tears. I process through words. Not the speaking of them, but the writing of them. It’s not to say tears don’t ever come–they do. But through most of my adult life, I cried maybe twice a year. Sometimes in grief, from a loss. Sometimes in emotional pain. Once in a while in frustration.

Cancer has changed that for me. Specifically, this second round has changed it for me. Since last October, I’ve cried more than in the last decade combined. I cry when I feel my friends’ pain. I cry when I’m struck by the beauty of our Lord. I cry when I think about the future. I cry when I’ve disappointed someone. I only have to open my spirit to the Lord, and tears fill my eyes. On the one hand, this is very unlike me.

On the other, to exist in this state of emotional rawness is its own kind of blessing.

I’ll be honest. 2026 got off to a rough start for me. 2025 was ending well in a lot of ways, I thought. I’d spent Christmas week writing a fantasy novella as a sort of vacation, and I had a blast with it. I started it the Monday before Christmas and finished the Tuesday following. I felt so alive with story that I thought something along the lines of, “I can just do this every day. Just pour it all out in writing, get all those books on my calendar done in no time.”

Then came New Year’s Eve. The day ended with an email that hurt. That made it clear we’d disappointed someone, let them down, that we had failed. That was my final note of the year, and I’ll admit it. I wasn’t just hurt–I was angry. Why, why did this person have to send this email at 5pm on New Year’s Eve? Why couldn’t it have waited for Monday? To be clear, I’m not contesting her points. They were valid. But to send it at that moment felt spiteful to me.

And I crashed. I woke up on New Year’s Day upset with the world and everyone in it. I woke up crying tears of frustration. I tried to pour it all out to God, and I sounded like a whiny toddler, proclaiming, “I hate everything!” This is very unlike me. And to give myself a little grace, I’m sure it was due in large part to the migraine that struck, and the fact that I felt close to vomiting all day. I took an unplanned two-hour nap, cancelled the day’s dinner plans (because even smelling the bread I’d made for it made me feel nauseous), and curled up with a book.

And I cried. That day, and into the second. I cried because this wasn’t how I wanted to start my year. This wasn’t how I wanted to feel. I dug around inside myself and just couldn’t grab hold of the grace I knew I needed, the forgiveness, the peace. All I could find was the hurt. All I could find were the tears.

But you know what? That’s okay. There have been so, so many times over the years when I wished I could cry. When I longed for that emotional release, but I couldn’t dig it up. When whatever it is in my makeup that makes me tend toward smiles and optimism no matter what just wouldn’t let go, even when I needed to deal with emotions.

Now, I found those tears. And I let them come. I let out the frustration, I let out the hurt, I let out the disappointment in myself. I still didn’t process through tears like my friends do. I still needed the words to really work through it.

But the tears…they’ve become a sort of magnifier for me. Through them, I can see the world a little differently. They’ve become a sort of reminder of baptism, an anointing almost. A reminder that He cleansed me. He made me anew. He made me whole. He washed away my sins, and He’ll continue to work in me. Continue to wipe away those smudges.

Will the tears continue for this veteran-non-crier? I have no idea. Maybe so–maybe the rest of my life, I’ll be one of those people who cry whenever I’m moved. That would be fine. Or maybe as I put cancer behind me again (my prayer!), my usual way will reassert itself. That would be fine too.

What I know is this: In this year that began with tears, my prayer is that they water my heart. Soften the soil of it. Nurture the seeds that the Lord has planted inside me, so that I can bear whatever fruit He wants to bring forth. I pray that these tears make me more sympathetic, more understanding, more generous, more kind. I pray they make me a better friend. A better person. A better Christian. More like Him.

Sometimes, we’re told that Jesus was moved with compassion. But we’re also told that Jesus wept. Even when He knew what He was about to do, even when He knew that this death of his friend would be reversed in glory, He still felt it. He still mourned it. He still cried.

Maybe, like “classic” me, you’re not given to tears. Maybe, like “new” me, you are. However you tend to process your emotions, I pray that in the year to come, as the world becomes ever more divided, ever more given to outrage, ever harsher, that we can become softer. Gentler. More loving. And always ready to grow in Him, like those seeds buried in the ground, just waiting to spring forth once they receive that life-giving water.

Four Years of Patrons and Peers!

by Roseanna | Jan 8, 2026 | Thoughtful Thursdays

AWhat is Patrons & Peers?

Four years ago, I decided to start a patron group. It was something my husband and I discussed briefly on a walk, and the thought just burrowed down deep and wouldn’t let me go, so I did that thing I do, which boggles my husband’s mind. I put my nose to the grindstone and developed it in the next week, then launched it. Without testing, without surveys, without anything but a vague hope of making some new friends, I launched Patrons & Peers on January 6, 2022. There are two levels: the Patrons, who can come in for as little as $5 a year and have access to all the community aspects and digital stuff; and the Peers, who come in at $15/mo or more and get all the physical stuff, like all my books when they release, without having to order them.

I remember the excitement when the order came in for the first subscription–a young woman named Hannah. Then I remember the laughter when, not long after, another order came in–another young woman named Hannah. For a couple hours there, I thought we were going to be the Hannah-Roseannas. Then others started joining too.

By the end of the first year, we were 30 strong. Now, at the end of the fourth year, we’re 52 strong. We’ve had some ladies who had to bow out. We’ve had some who stepped away for a season and returned. We’ve had new members who faithfully renew but don’t have the time or energy to engage with the community. But the core of the group–this amazing group of women–is something I hoped and prayed for, but which I’m still so in awe of.

Because this group has become a family…the sort that’s always excited to welcome in a new sister, a new friend.

The Dream

In 2020, my husband and I read Dream Big by Bob Goff and did the study (twice, actually–once with an in-person group and then we led a group via Zoom). Part of this program is writing down your big, crazy, out-there dreams. The things you wish you could do but don’t necessarily know how. The things you can’t control. The things that you certainly can’t do alone.

One of mine was “build a community.”

I didn’t honestly know what I meant. Was I thinking about a physical community? An online one? Something else altogether? I wasn’t sure, but I knew that the dream of it burned in my heart. I’d tried, in other ways. With my #BeBetter group…with my Seeing the Story site. Both of which flopped. So when I started a patron group, I really didn’t know what to expect. Would it work? Would it not? Would it just be me talking into the ether, no one paying attention? Would they take me seriously when I invited them to share their dreams, their passions, their lives? Would that be too weird?

But they did take me seriously. And maybe it was because some of the first ladies to join were our resident Extroverts, LOL–but they jumped in with both feet, opened up, shared their lives with us–their struggles, their concerns, their loves, their passions, what fueled them. And as others joined, they followed suit. And guys, when you have a place where vulnerability and openness is the norm…something amazing happens. It becomes a place of love. Of friendship. Where judgment cannot penetrate. Where friction is quickly smoothed over by genuine compassion and a desire to understand each other.

Looking Back

In our four years of P&P, we’ve gained some nicknames, like when Bonnie F from NC dubbed us “her Roseanna Girls,” and it stuck. In there, we also have subsets, like “the Houston girls,” “the Cali girls,” and “the fantasy girls.” While I have the easy definition of being able to refer to them as “my patron group,” they have a harder time trying to convey to outsiders what this awesome family is, so they usually end up calling it something like, “my book group” or “my group of reader friends” or “my book club.”

We’ve gone on three different retreats together–one to Georgia that first fall, where only five of us ended up making it after another got sick and had to cancel; one to the Outer Banks, where we had about fifteen total, but largely in two groups as people came and went midweek; and then this past November in Colorado Springs, to see the ballet of Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor, where there were seventeen. The first two were creative retreats, so during the day we’d write or quilt or paint or read or watch those classes we’d purchased but hadn’t had time to do yet, then we’d fellowship in the evenings. This last one was pure fellowship. (Also, after the Outer Banks trip, I was “fired” from planning them, LOL, when I made a mistake that totally stressed me out, and my darling husband decided that I should just show up and enjoy it. He’d planned on taking it over, but member Candice begged to be the one to do so, so we happily let her! The awesome CO Springs trip was thanks to her and the ladies she recruited to help, and it was AMAZING.)

We’ve discovered that quite a big percentage of our members are from the Houston, TX area, so the “Houston Girls” get together several times a year. They’ll go out to dinner, go to a bookstore, have book exchange parties…

Whenever one of us travels to an area where another lives, there are lunches or dinners arranged so they can meet in person, and they always send photos. There for a while, Cali-Hannah (one of those first two members, who lives in California) had met more of the ladies in person than I had!

We have added every form of communication imaginable, LOL. We have an address database, for cards and letters and gifts. We have the Marco Polo video chat app, which was one of our first methods of communication (and seeing each other’s faces and hearing voices does SUCH amazing things for connecting us!). We have an email list, which is where announcements and links go, as well as updates and prayer requests. We have a traditional text group. And when we got too big for that, most of us migrated to the GroupMe app.

Which means that we are chatting every day. Seriously. There isn’t a day that goes by without P&P communication, and I love that so much!

We have subgroups–the fantasy readers started by creating a fantasy sub-group on Marco Polo. Those who were lured into reading The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion by Nicole (ALL YOUR FAULT! LOL) now have a GroupMe group called Whereabouts Lane (the street where Emma lives in London), where we chat about Emma and the books and the merch we find. We have a pen pal group started recently for those who want to send physical letters to each other…which was started because the kids of the group wanted to write to each other! (It’s becoming multi-generational! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!)

Every time I have a book release, we schedule a “tea party.” These are inspired by my public Tea Party Book Club chats, but I don’t send out packages, and they’re only open to P&P members. We get together on Zoom, we talk through the book, and we spend usually 2+ hours at it, first focusing (mostly, LOL) on the story and then just chatting. And as of yesterday, we’ve decided to add a regular monthly Zoom chat where we’ll talk about a backlist book.

We also love to send out “encouragement bombs,” as I’ve taken to calling them, when a member is sick or going through a hard time or has just lost a loved one. They might be care packages, a deluge of cards, monetary donations, or meals. They might come in the mail, they might be delivered by another nearby member. I put the first one or two together, but since then, it’s been other members reaching out and saying, “Hey, I think we need to bless ____. I’m happy to spearhead the effort!” And I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! I love that this group is not only generous but so tuned in to the struggles of each other and so quick to want to help.

We also have an annual ornament exchange through Elfster, organized by another of the Houston ladies, Caroline. This is always a highlight to kick-off the Christmas season!

Looking Forward

What’s coming for this group? Much of it will be a continuation of what we already do and love so much. We’ll keep chatting. We’ll keep Zooming. We’ll keep reading books together. We’ll keep meeting up whenever we can. And as I just mentioned above, we just decided yesterday to add a regular Saturday meet-up on Zoom once a month, to chat about one of my backlist titles, and everyone is SO excited to have that regular time to hang out on the calendar!

We’re for sure planning another beach retreat for our FIFTH year, this fall. Thus far, we’re leaning toward Pensacola Beach in October.

But we’re planning way ahead, too. We’ve decided that for our TENTH anniversary retreat, we’re going to Europe. We haven’t decided where, exactly. Maybe the Isles of Scilly. Or maybe Northumberland (where the manor house I based Fairfax Tower on is an actual Air BnB! But, sadly, no circus is in residence, LOL). Maybe Paris. Who knows? We’ve got a few years to figure that part out, but we’re already saying it’s a for-sure thing, so everyone has time to save up and get or renew their passports. =)

What These Ladies Mean to Me

I get teary when I ask myself this question. Because these ladies, these friends, these sisters have become part of my daily life. They have been there, supporting me and praying for me and encouraging me, through the hard chapters of cancer. They never tire of hearing about my stories. When I need someone to take a look at something before I turn it into my editor, they’re the ones I reach out to. Deanna read Yesterday’s Tides for me, to help me with the sign language. Lee Anne read A Noble Scheme for me, to help me work through an editorial suggestion that was frustrating me. Danielle, Pam, and Marisa read The Spy Keeper of Marseille to weigh in on pacing concerns. Nearly the whole group reads my fantasies before they release, in Alpha (as soon as I finish, before I edit at all), Beta (after my big edits), and Gamma (final proofread) shifts.

Their generosity astounds me. Their support holds me up. Their love for each other inspires me. I cannot imagine, now, life without this group. When we get together, in person or online, it’s like walking into a room with your best friends. When I met some for the first time this last November, I couldn’t quite believe I’d never hugged them before, because we know each other so well. We’ve done so much life together!

And it’s certainly not just about what they do for me. It’s about how I see them building such strong friendships with each other. It’s when one member reaches out because she knows another in going through a hard time, and she asks what we can do. It’s the care packages they spearhead sending. It’s the soup and flowers we send to members who’ve lost loved ones. It’s the meet-ups they arrange. And it’s the fact that one sister can get on in tears, afraid she said something to offend another, and the other is so quick to hop on too and reach out with love. We’ve had some disagreements here and there–but they’re always handled like the Church should handle them, with grace and affection and the certainty that the other meant only the best.

It’s the bridal party we threw via Zoom. It’s the school-supply drive we all pitched in on for a church in Texas. It’s the friend who will drive four hours to visit someone before a hospitalization. It’s the fact that when one of us gets hard news, we come and share it there FIRST, often before even talking to family, because we all know this is a place of love and safety, where we can work through things in vulnerability before we have to be strong for someone else. Where we know we’ll have prayer warriors supporting us as we have those hard conversations with our loved ones.

It’s the fact that these women are the Church.

What These Ladies Mean to Each Other

And that’s enough of my musing. I asked them to pipe in too, with their own thoughts on the group. So I’ll let them take it from here.

Patrons & Peers is such a special place. Within the group I have found laughs, prayer partners, camaraderie. They understand me when I stay up all night reading and we pray together when dealing with life’s hurdles. When we get together—whether that be online or in person—it feels like a family reunion and is literally a time full of love and laughter. I’m so grateful to Roseanna for starting such a thing. Cheers to the past two years (for me) and onward to the next two and beyond!

Bethany A.

Currently living in Missouri, but her heart is still in Indiana..., Member since 2022

This is a phenomenal group of women – the sisters I never had growing up. We laugh with each other, pray for each other, and surround each other with support when life gets hard. The friendships we have formed are incredible. At our retreat this past November, it wasn’t like we were meeting everyone for the first time – even though most of us had never met in person before. It was like going to a family reunion with people you hadn’t seen in ages. This group has challenged me to grow my faith and allowed me to be a book worm in the best possible way!

Deanna D.

from Pennsylvania, Member since January 2022

This group has been such a blessing. These ladies not only pray for one another but truly care. We can share as much or as little as we want. Everyone is so encouraging and kind. Its been so neat to see how the group has grown. I love the tea parties when we get to see each other. Group Me and Marco Polo have been a wonderful way to get to know each other as well. As someone who is not in Social Media this group is nothing like that. I am so thankful for all these ladies who have become my friends. It’s amazing to see how the Lord has brought us together with a love for Roseanna’s books and now we all have gotten wonderful friendships.

Melessa

from California, Member since 2023

P&P is a true treasure! This group is the community that I prayed for and one that has become so dear to my heart. God blessed this group in a special way and I look forward to growing in faith-filled friendships with the amazing ladies that have become some of my most cherished friends.

Colleen Marie

from Maryland, Member since 2024

I joined this group to support Roseanna and her writing, but I have found that I am the one being supported. This community is so precious. I love that we can talk about books and baseball and send photos and silly memes—and then seamlessly switch over to serious prayer needs and personal concerns. I can be really active and present in the group at times, but other times I get busy and can’t participate so much—but always, always, coming back is so easy. There’s no awkwardness when I get back, no “resettling in”; I know I’m still welcome and still belong. I also really treasure the openness of all these ladies. We come from many different backgrounds and denominations, but we are really just here as simple sisters in Christ. It is such an uplifting, encouraging, and…I’m searching for the word…spiritually valuable?…group to me. My heart, mind, and spirit are always refreshed here.

Nicole D

from Texas, Member since 2022

Roseanna was already a favorite author of mine, and my cover designer, so when she opened up P&P, signing up was not a question for me. What I didn’t expect was the impact of this community. These women have become some of my dearest sisters-in-Christ. We celebrate and pray for one another. And getting to meet in person feels like seeing an old friend I’ve known for ages. I’m incredibly grateful Roseanna created such a welcoming place. It has blessed me more than I can express.

Danielle Grandinetti

from Wisconsin, Member since January 2022

I joined P&P because I was intrigued with what lay behind the curtain in Roseanna’s writing world. What I didn’t realize, is that I would quickly gain a sisterhood. We bonded over our love of books, but Christ has truly given us all a gift of deep friendship with one another!

Hannah Allen

from Texas, Member since January 2022 (one of those first two members)

The Patrons and Peers group has been a lifeline for me emotionally and spiritually. These women are amazing encouragers, gracious in giving grace, so generous with their time, their talents, and even their finances. Each woman brings a wisdom from their individual experiences with God and with their communities that gives so many wonderful perspectives and ideas. I am blessed to call each one of these ladies my friend and have been priviledged to grow beside them for the past several years.

Laura Heagy

from Kansas, Member since 2022

That first year, I thought it would be fun to try supporting Roseanna for a year, get copies of all her new books that year, and see how it went. After the first year, there was no question – P&P had become such a wonderful family of sisters who all love the Lord Jesus and love Roseanna’s books, and as we got to know each other through Zoom book discussions, prayer requests shared and prayed for, pictures, etc, we all loved each other too! How could I turn my back on such a great group of gals! This year, being able to attend the retreat in Colorado and meet in person so many of those dear people, I kept pinching myself to make sure I was really there, and really getting to hug, laugh with, eat with, talk with, and play with these special women! Despite sharing 3 bathrooms for 15 or so people, (mostly women), all from different parts of the country and from different paths to following Jesus, there was no major complaining, no arguing or fighting (except the fun kind), just enjoying time together. It’s a foretaste of heaven!

Margaret N

from Northern California, Member since January 2022

I struggle to adequately define Patrons and Peers (P&P) to people who are not part of the group. It is, on the surface, a funding tool for an author I love—but that description feels far too impersonal. It is perhaps like an online book club, yet that comparison also leaves out so much of what makes P&P so dear to me. It is a collection of women from different parts of the country, of different ages and backgrounds, united by a love of books and of God—and still, it is difficult to put into words how much I value their place in my life.

I initially joined the Patrons and Peers group because I enjoyed Roseanna’s books and thought it would be a fun way to receive a free copy of each new release while learning a little more about the stories behind them. I am not a writer—just a self-professed introverted book nerd who loves Christian historical fiction—and the P&P perks seemed like a good deal. What I have actually received over the past four years, however, is far more than I could have ever imagined. I have learned so much about the process an author goes through to turn an idea into a story, and then to craft that story into the novel I eventually hold in my hands. I’ve gained insight into editorial processes and publishing details I never knew existed, and I’ve even been given opportunities to participate in story development and editing. I’ve been introduced to genres I never would have tried otherwise, and I now appreciate far more deeply the love and effort behind every book I read—not just Roseanna’s.

Yet insight into the background of books is only a small part of the impact this group has had on my life. In my fellow P&Ps—or “Roseanna Girls,” as I affectionately call them—I have found a sisterhood of kindred spirits: fellow book lovers, prayer partners, encouragers, and friends—a bookish sorority of sorts. I never imagined such meaningful relationships could grow from an online community, but through the various platforms we use to connect, I have come to know not only their names, but their voices, their families, their pets, their jobs, their joys, their hopes, and their fears. We share book recommendations, recipes, advice, and burdens. We pray for one another, encourage one another, and walk alongside each other through both life-changing events and the ordinary struggles of daily life. In short, these Roseanna Girls have become treasured friends, and our in-person retreats in various locations are now much-anticipated delights.

I understand that, from the outside looking in, joining a group like this may feel intimidating. Please don’t worry—there is no pressure to participate beyond what you are comfortable with. You will benefit from P&P even if you simply sign up to receive the books and updates from Roseanna. You can choose to connect with the other Roseanna Girls through email, text, GroupMe, Marco Polo, Zoom parties—or you can remain happily in the background. This group has a place for you, no matter how interactive you choose to be.

Bonnie F

from North Carolina, Member since January 2022

Join the P&P Community

2026 Word of the Year – WORD

by Roseanna | Jan 1, 2026 | Holidays, Thoughtful Thursdays, Word of the Year

Okay, Roseanna. You’re getting a little too literal here. Last year you chose the word choose. And this year, your word is WORD?

Yeah, I know. A little too on the nose, as my husband laughingly said. But bear with me, LOL.

I sat down last Saturday to prayerfully consider my word, and I decided to start the day with the liturgical readings. December 27 is the feast day of St. John the Apostle…as in, the Gospel and Letter writer. John, known for his poetic opening lines that we all know so well:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ²He was in the beginning with God. ³All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. ⁴In him was life, and the life was the light of men. ⁵The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. … ¹⁴And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Other options on my shortlist were rejoice, peace, light-bearer, and reflect. All things I saw in that scripture reading, all things which resonated with that pivotal word: the Word. The logos, as it is in Greek–a word with so complex a meaning that its entry in the lexicon is pages long.

Word. We might think of it as something simple–but it is far from it. It’s a creative force, the thing by which, the person through which, the entirety of the universe was created.

Words. Those things as critical to me as air. The things through which we communicate not only with each other but with God. The things by which I make my living.

I love words. This is no surprise. I am a self-proclaimed “word nerd.” I love the history of words, those etymologies I bring you every Monday. I love playing with them, finding new turns of phrase, using them to bring people and places and events to life for my readers.

But as I considered choosing such an obvious word as WORD for my “word of the year” (see how many times I had to use it just in that sentence? LOL. RIDICULOUS!), I nearly dismissed it for its lack of subtlety…but couldn’t, because it summed up what I want my focus to be this year.

I plan to write a LOT. I plan to read a lot. This is a given.

But as I’m writing and reading, I don’t want my focus only to be on my words. I want my focus to be on the Word I’m striving to reflect. The Word who shone in the darkness and who made me to be His light-bearer too, casting His light into all the dark places in our own hearts–in my heart. I want to cling to the Word who breathes peace into my heart even through troubles and travails and hard seasons. I want to shout the Word who puts joy in my heart and encourages me to rejoice in all things.

He is the Word of joy, of peace, of light that we are to carry forth and reflect.

So yes, for a writer, choosing WORD as my “word of the year” might seem like overkill. But as I write at least 7 books in the next calendar year (quite likely more), there are going to be a lot of words spilling out of my mind, through my fingers, and onto the page. Words that I hope entertain you, yes. Words that I hope keep you company and make you smile.

But this year, as I’ll yet again be going through cancer treatments, I’m keenly aware of how important each word I speak, write, pray, read, and think really are.

Our words are how the world knows us. Our words are how our thoughts are shaped; and those thoughts become our beliefs and our actions. Our words are forceful, creative things–and they can also be destructive things.

I want to remain aware of how I’m using all of mine. I want to be sure that all my words are worthy of the Word.

I have long claimed as one of my guiding verses 1 Samuel 3:19, where it says that the Lord was with Samuel as he grew up, and “none of his words fell to the ground.”

That has always been my prayer as a writer. That none of my words fall to the ground, useless or destructive. I want my words to edify. To glorify Him.

What better word to guide a year that may well rack up more words in my count than any before?

Lord, let my words be a reflection of Your Word (the Bible) and Your Word (Jesus). May this year be one in which I remain always aware of the power you put in each of our hands with this gift of speech, of writing.

May 2026 be a year of light shining in the darkness. A year in which He speaks peace into our lives and hearts. A year of praises sung to Him, with shouts of the words “Glory!” and “Hallelujah!” May each word we choose to let into our lives be ones of edification…words worthy of the Word.

Have you chosen a Word of the Year for 2026? I’d love for you to share it with me!

2025 Word of the Year Reflection – Choose (and Chosen)

by Roseanna | Dec 29, 2025 | Holidays, Thoughtful Thursdays, Word of the Year

Usually I do my Reflection on my Word of the Year on the last Thursday of the year…but with New Year’s being on Thursday, that’s when I have new Word of the Year post, so I decided to put this on the last Monday instead. (Because I sure wasn’t going to do it on Christmas. And, hey, it’s my blog and I make the rules. Right? LOL. Had to remind myself of that…)

On January 1, 2025, I shared what words I had prayerfully considered for 2025, and how I landed on choose…and chosen. I ended the post with these thoughts:

There will always be things beyond our control–I know that better now than ever. But I also know that my choices still matter, even in those times.

I will choose joy. I will choose faith. I will choose relationships. I will choose love. I will choose dreams that honor God. I will choose helping others. I will choose the things that last.

I shared how, in 2024 (which shall forever be known in my life as The Year of Cancer Treatments), I became so aware of all the things we don’t get to choose in life…but how even in them, what we do get to choose is more important than ever. I shared how the choices I made for my health were all with the goal of not going through cancer again. I shared how I’d learned anew in 2024 and wanted to carry with deliberation into 2025 how crucial it is that we choose our responses, our priorities, and even our dreams with wisdom and prayer.

It’s now the end of the year. How did I do with this word?

Well, I’ll admit it–when I realized the end of the year was coming, and hence this reflection post, I stared blankly at my screen and thought, “What was my word? Seriously, what was my word? I have no idea.”

Insert headslap here.

It’s not uncommon for me to have to remind myself throughout the year of what it was. With the exception of Intentional, it’s never as front-and-center as I hope it will be, at least not consciously. But I can usually jog my memory pretty easily and pull it out, dust it off. This year…nope. I had to look it up.

But in my defense, that’s because it’s been a crazy last quarter, LOL. And when I did look it up and went, “Oh, yeah…riiiiiiight,” I could also smile. Because even though I’d forgotten Choose was my word, I never forgot the importance of choosing, just as I’d laid out in my January 1st post.

I had, in that post, a list of bullet points of things we get to choose, no matter what:

I get to choose my reactions to each situation and circumstance.
I get to choose my own priorities.
I get to choose to find joy and delight.
I get to choose who and what I will welcome into my daily routine.
I get to choose on what I’ll ponder and dwell and meditate.
I get to choose to remain faithful to God and His calling, to my friends and family, to my own dreams.
I get to choose where and how I’ll stretch toward bigger dreams, more challenges, and distant goals.
I get to choose when to rest and how to do it.

Choosing my reactions is something I’ve thought a lot about over a lot of years, and certainly something that remained at the forefront of my mind and heart in 2025. There were the “little” things–choosing my reaction when my 19-year-old daughter said she might get a tattoo. Choosing my reaction when editors invited me to different projects. Choosing my reaction when someone doesn’t like one of my stories.

But then, in October, there was the big thing. Choosing my reaction when my doctors informed me I had a tumor in my brain. When they told me I needed brain surgery to remove it. When they told me it was cancer…again.

I knew, as I stood in those moments, that I could not choose to not have a new tumor. But I could choose how I took the news. I could choose what words to use to share it. I could choose whether to be open and vulnerable or closed off. I could choose whether to hope or despair. I could choose to shout, “Why, God? WHY?” or admit, “I don’t want to do this again, Lord…but I know my future is in Your hand.” I could choose to deny this new truth. Or I could choose to let it shape me into who He wants me to be. I could choose not only to seek life but to embrace the perspective that comes with looking possible death in the face.

I chose. I chose faith. I chose hope. I chose vulnerability. I chose gratitude. I chose a new perspective. And friends, it made all the difference. I’m standing here knowing I’ll have treatments again for who-knows-how-long, but with peace in my heart. Certain that whatever happens, God will use it for His glory. At peace. Filled up. Ready to fly into the future on His wings.

Choosing my priorities. I have a lot on my plate. Enough that this was the year my agent replied privately to a book offer with, “Do I need to stage an intervention? Are you okay? This is a lot!” Yeah, Steve…it’s a lot, LOL. But for this season, I’ve chosen to say yes to stories. I’ve chosen to prioritize projects that will allow me to pay for my daughter’s college (ah, reality). I’ve chosen to pack my days to the brim with the things that are the very air I breathe: WORDS.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t dropped balls, especially when unexpected cancer treatments and scans interrupt my lovely schedule. I have. Some of my priorities have shifted through the year, and others have been neglected unintentionally.

But each new week, when I write out my list of things to do by Friday, I am very aware of a new chance to prioritize. To take care of things. To choose my focus.

Some days, I ignore all that. In the week after learning about the tumor, I admit it–I neglected the “things to do” on my list. I re-prioritized on the fly, and I decided that the most important thing I could do was work through this. So I wrote a story I didn’t have to, maybe that I shouldn’t have focused on yet. I choose that, and looking back, it was one of the most joyful ten days of the year. Then, right after learning about a new health crisis. So I don’t regret that choice one bit. It was exactly what I needed to do.

Choosing to find joy and delight. That last one is a prime example of this too, LOL. Now, I’m a naturally cheerful person. I am Optimist Prime. Joy is my default, not something I have to strive for most of the time. So this feels a little like cheating, to actually list it. One of those things I can usually just automatically check off. Yep–joyful! But there are certainly challenges to it day to day, and I think I did a pretty good job of not sitting too long in the dark places, even though I granted them their place, felt through the emotions. And then chose joy once more.

Choosing who and what I welcome into my daily routine. While I admit I haven’t been great at this all year–usually my routines are pretty much determined by that to-do list for the week–I did run a beta test version of a program I’ve called Writers’ Cross Training, which is all about choosing how we balance the important things in our lives day to day. Writing, education, marketing…but also spiritual growth, family life, exercise, and food choices.

I still have some tweaks to make to the program, but going through it with a handful of friends was not only fun but encouraging, as we held each other accountable for twelve weeks and really focused on how we’re meeting the needs of all those different parts of ourselves and our world. How we’re making those daily choices about what to put into our routine, into our day.

I think I need a revisit! 😉

Choosing what I’ll ponder, meditate on, and dwell on. Basically, we get to choose what we think about. And I gotta say, there were quite a few times when worry tried to creep in this year, and I deliberately said, “Nope. You know what I’m going to think about instead?” Usually, spoiler alert, it was stories. 😉 And in those moments, usually my fantasy stories, because there’s something very freeing about thinking about a world so far out of this world. But I also spent plenty of time developing my historical romances and my contemporary characters too!

Choosing to remain faithful to God and His calling, to my friends and family, to my own dreams. I think, when you’ve already focused on the items above, this one comes along for the ride. When I chose faith above worry in the health crisis, that was also a decision to remain faithful to Him. Though it also required asking some questions about how my calling might change–and where it wouldn’t–if. If this new pop-up of cancer was more serious, what would that mean? How would I honor God’s calling if my strength failed? How would I help support my family if I couldn’t keep up the pace I’d set for myself? There aren’t easy, pat answers to these questions, but asking them made me so much more aware of how God permeates every facet of life. How even when we’re weak, He doesn’t just cradle us, He continues to use us to reach others.

Coming off a year of radiation treatments, seven contracted books due, travel for conferences, a reconstruction surgery that looks like it’s failing thanks to that irradiated skin on the right side, the joy of seeing one of my stories on the stage, an AMAZING retreat with my P&P ladies, and a list of books I want to write (and read!) and things I want to do that are infinitely growing and already longer than I am tall…I think I’ve done pretty good on this one. There’s always room for improvement, of course. In all of those things. But I have chosen to pursue them. And in so doing, have also addressed that next one on the list, choosing where to stretch toward bigger dreams, more challenges, and distant goals.

Seven books in a year is a stretch, friends! The most I’d done before cancer was six, and that felt slightly insane. But I said yes to seven because I wanted to take on each individual project, and I’ve managed it! I also have seven slated for 2026, so we’ll see how it goes with infusions every three weeks.

And finally…

Choosing when and how to rest. Sometimes this feels like an indulgence–like when I took two weeks at the beach in September, since those two weeks were cheaper than one week in June, and I used one of them as a writing retreat. Or when I close down the computer with tasks still remaining undone, acknowledging that my mind is done for the day, and head for the couch and a book. When I choose a nap after church rather than some of the “doing” that needs done around the house.

And it also means acknowledging when “rest” looks different. Sometimes (not always!) writing is rest. Sometimes clearing those design projects off my plate before focusing on a writing deadline is rest. Sometimes taking a walk is rest. Sometimes ignoring the book and instead curling up against my husband in front of the fireplace and talking is rest.

Rest isn’t one thing we do. Rest is what, in that moment, will bring peace and allow you to unspool a bit. I’m still not always great at it, I can admit that.

But I must have done a decent job this year. Because while some years I arrive at December burnt out and overwhelmed and desperate for a few weeks off of life as I focus on Christmas, this year I arrived at December with a song on my lips, joy in my heart, ideas bursting, and energy to keep on tackling everything. Some days or weeks still feel overwhelming, but I’ve learned that in those times, it’s more important than ever to step away from the to-do list and rest.

So here we are, at the end of 2025. A year that certainly didn’t go quite how I planned it, but which I still chose to find joy in–and then found that joy far surpassed anything I could have made on my own.

It was a year with an unexpected award, when The Collector of Burned Books won the Christianity Today Fiction Book of the Year award. A year when I first got to see people bringing a story to life with the Fidele Youth Dance Company’s production of Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor. It was a year of viral posts about book bans, hard health news, and new friendships. A year of STORY. A year of laughter. A year of tears.

2025, for all its bad news, was a good year. Looking back over it, tears flood my eyes, but they’re not sad tears. They’re grateful tears.

I chose. I did. And God met me there. He met in the hardship and He met me in the fear, and He gave me joy instead. He gave me peace. He gave me the promise that the future is always bright when we focus on the Light. And our story is always one of victory when we focus on the Word.

Here Is the Christ Child

by Roseanna | Dec 25, 2025 | Holidays, Thoughtful Thursdays

Where was the Christ Child?

He wasn’t in the palaces, bustling with servants, feasts in the halls, music in the chambers.
He wasn’t in the temple, where the incense was burning and the well-written prayers soaring upward.
He wasn’t on the road, where watchful eyes were waiting for the victorious Messiah to arrive and deliver them.

He was in the manger, swaddled in His mother’s arms, animals gathered round.
He was there, in tiny, delicate baby arms and legs, waving a greeting.
He was there, sleeping after the miracle of his birth.

But let’s not be mistaken–that night wasn’t silent.

The angels were singing.
The shepherds were running.
The heavens were ringing.

As God
became
FLESH.

As the infinite
stepped
into TIME.

As the Savior
put on
humanity.

Where will you find the Christ Child this Christmas?

It might not be in the hustle and bustle.
It might not be in the feasts and songs.
It might not even be in the services of worship.

But it’s okay.

Take a breath.
Be still.
Listen.

He’s there.

He’s there in the quiet moments.
He’s there in the shimmer of light from a tree.
He’s there in the laughter of children.
He’s there in the pitter-patter of your pet’s steps.
He’s there in the snowfall.
He’s there in the whistling wind.
He’s there.

Right there, beside you.

And He’s whispering, “Come.”

Come. Let’s adore Him.

The king of all ages.
The prince of peace.
Emmanuel.

Come.

Merry Christmas!

My Characters on Stage!

by Roseanna | Dec 18, 2025 | Book News, Books, Thoughtful Thursdays

Part of me wanted to share all about the ballet of Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor the moment I returned from Colorado at the end of the November…but I decided to share health stuff first. And then I figured I’d save this one for the week before Christmas, because it’s just so festive and fun.

So here we go! The rundown on how awesome and amazing the Colorado Springs trip was!

First…I was excited, y’all. I had an appointment at the hospital in Morgantown the day before we left, to get the staples removed from my head before traveling (ahhhhhhh, relief!), and by the time we left the hospital at noon, I was pretty much skipping my way everywhere I wasn’t dancing. As David said, “That’s when you started vibrating.”

I was excited to see my P&P girls. I was excited to explore a place I’d never been. I was excited that my good friend Karlene, whom I haven’t seen in years, had decided to make the 8-hour drive from Utah to see me and the show. And of course, I was sooooo excited to see my characters come to life!

Thursday, we drove over to my parents’ house around 7 and joined them for the 2.5-hour drive to the airport. We flew out of Dulles in DC, had an uneventful flight to Denver, during which I got the synopsis written for my next novella from Tyndale (you’ll hear more about this in the new year!), which left me feeling great. We had a fairly long layover in Denver before our very-short connection to Colorado Springs (it was cheaper to fly to the Springs than to Denver, otherwise we just would have driven it), which gave us time to enjoy some delicious pizza in a little Italian restaurant in the airport whose staff was fantastic.

Hilariously (or not?) that second flight sat at the gate for an hour while they tried to deal with a weight and balance issue. It was a tiny little plane. And eventually, they had to ask someone to volunteer to take another flight. Or, as we joked, “They actually kicked someone off!” Once we were airborn, it was practically a blink and then we were in the Springs. It was dark and raining by the time we landed, so that 20-minute drive to our rental house was a little not-fun, but then…then we arrived.

So this was our third retreat with the P&P group, in our fourth year. (We had to skip last year’s thanks to cancer.) At the first retreat, there were 5 of us. At the second retreat, there were 12, but not all at the same time–we broke it into half-weeks for those who couldn’t do a full week. I think the most there at once were 9. This time, there were 15 of us (this does count spouses and my parents), by my count at the Saturday night ballet. And from the moment we entered, there was a definite air of celebration.

The house was gorgeous, a historic one with tons of bedrooms, gorgeous old fixtures (clawfoot tub, old kitchen sink…just darling), and so much charm we just couldn’t get over it. (Great job picking it out, Caroline!) I thought, when I walked in, that the owners or management company had already decorated for Christmas, because there was a cute little tree decorated on an end table in the living room, miniature stockings hanging…but no. Candice (the official “in charge of retreat” member of the group) had packed it all in her checked bag! Yep, she brought a Christmas tree with her, with nutcracker ornaments that we all got to bring home, and those stockings? They were for us! Each one had our name on it, and she added stickers and bookmarks and a pocket prayer quilt each night.

Our previous retreats have been “creative retreats,” where we work on our creative projects during the day and then hang out and socialize from dinner onward. We knew that wouldn’t work for this one, so instead it was just three straight days of laughter, sightseeing, exploring, talking, eating, baking, seeing the show, playing games, and just generally having the BEST time. Seriously, I don’t remember the last time I laughed that much.

We went to the US Figure Skating museum on Friday, Zoomed with some of the ladies in the group who couldn’t make the retreat on Friday afternoon, which was SUCH fun too–and we got to meet one of our newest members and put a face and voice to her name, which is always amazing! We set a date for our members-only tea party book club for The Christmas Book Flood too. Friday evening, Cali Hannah made us a fantastic dinner (at this retreat there was Hannah F from California and Hannah A from Texas in the house, plus Hannah Currie from Australia who came to the shows, so we had Cali-Hannah, Texas-Hannah, and Aussie-Hannah there–it was hilarious! Also, those first two Hannahs were my first two P&P members when I started the group!). After dinner, we played Fishbowl, which was HILARIOUS, and then did a white elephant style book exchange.

This gets its own paragraph, because, hello–BOOKS! 😉 We each brought a book to share, wrapped and anonymous. We had sheets printed out to give hints about the book, and since this was a group of friends, Caroline (who organized it) came up with a rating system specific to us. The romance meter was guaged by Bethany, who usually likes only one Disney-style kiss in a book; the violence meter was by Julie, who doesn’t care for such things in her stories. Two little details that just made my day because they spoke to how we’ve become such a family. (My poor mother, who isn’t officially in the group, had no clue what those meant, LOL…) We set a rule of 3-steals-only and a book was locked in, and I am happy to say I got to be a third steal and take my first-choice book, mwa ha ha ha. Though I would have been perfectly content with the one I’d first opened, had someone not stolen it from me. 😉 It was also fun to read the vague descriptions on the books and identify about half of them, which I’d already read and so knew well enough to guess. It was also rewarding that the books I brought–I totally cheated and brought two, The Lost Girl of Astor Street and The Secret Investigator of Astor Street with their new, matching illustrated covers, by my best friend, Stephanie Morrill–were also stolen the maximum number of times.

Also on Friday, the fantabulous Candice surprised me with sugar cookies decorated to match the book! (Purchased, LOL. We made many cookies while there–well, Deanna made many cookies while there, LOL–but these specialty ones were purchased by a local baker. See the photo carousel for pictures! And they were as delicious as they were gorgeous!)

Saturday morning a bunch of us went to Garden of the Gods. My group was the “can’t do to much or we’ll pay for it later” group, so we picked and chose where we explored, and it was breathtaking! We ended up at one point just settling on some rocks with an amazing view of Pike’s Peak and lots of birds to watch and just fell into chatting again. We saw two horse tours go by, so that was fun too. Then back to the house in time for lunch, because the first show was at 2:00, and I intended to be there!

So…socially awkward author here. I’m great at being “on” when it’s for a purpose, and as long as I was standing there signing books, I knew my place, LOL. But once all the books were signed, I had a few minutes of “Okay, I’m just gonna stand here at the table and blend in with the concession workers, I guess…” But I needn’t have worried. The families of the dancers soon picked up on the fact that I was there, and there were folks who came JUST to see/meet me, so that was such fun. I personalized some books, took some photos with readers, and then my husband ushered my vibrating-with-joy self into the auditorium and we found our seats.

The show…THE SHOW. It was simply AMAZING. That first time, I watched with curiosity, constantly asking myself, “Now how are they going to handle this bit?” And then watching their choices and going, “Ah! Perfect!” (I mean, obviously there was no frozen river for Mariah to fall into, and they had to make plenty of choices about what to leave out versus keep. But I 100% approve ALL those choices!)

Mimi McKinnis did the adaptation, and she did it brilliantly. (THANK YOU, MIMI!!!) The performers were so much more than I’d envisioned–not just dancing, which they did so well, but acting. The leads were all so expressive, their faces perfectly portraying the emotional journey for each character. I love how they showed backstory, especially with the story of how young Mariah and young Cyril wrote the story the cast later performs…the story that we know as the Nutcracker. And so when familiar Nutcracker music began to play? I got a completely idiotic grin on my face and just couldn’t shake it.

Also…SO MUCH PURPLE! Obviously, this purple-loving girl was thrilled to see all the purple lights, the purple costuming Mariah wore, and so much more.

During intermission and after the show, I was out at the table again, signing and personalizing books. I met more readers, more families of dancers, and after that first show, some of the dancers themselves.

And here’s the funny thing. For me, it was both humbling and ecstatic to see my characters live and breathe, so to my mind they were the stars. They were the people giving the gift–to the audience and to me. I was a little starstruck to see Mariah and Louise, Fred and Professor Skylark, Cyril and Soren all right there in front of me, living and breathing and smiling, in gorgeous costumes. To my mind, they weren’t just student performers. They were something more. They were dreams come true.

Of course, to them, I was the author who brought this fun story to them to begin with, and they approached me with wide eyes and bouncing excitement, asking me to sign their books, take pictures with them, and give them hugs. And it struck me, then–how there’s never just individual creating. It’s co-creating. We create first with our creative Father, the Creator of the universe. And then we create with those around us. As an author, I create with my editors, my cover designers, my marketing team–and my readers. As dancers, they create with their bodies but also their fellow cast, their director, their choreographers. We created something together, something bigger than what any one of us could create on our own. And it was beautiful. So, so beautiful.

I stayed there between the two shows, since there was only about an hour to kill, and then my people all showed up, so more giddiness ensued. The performance was just as fantastic, and afterward we got a group picture for P&P.

It was also after that second show on Saturday that one of my favorite moments happened. Jackson (who played Cyril), Anna (who played Mariah), and Lacy (who played Professor Skylark) came over to meet me, and Jackson pitched me a sequel. Hannah Currie was there and caught a photo of it (also in the image carousel below!), which I absolutely LOVE. On Sunday, before that final show, we got a group shot with the whole cast and me, and after that, Jonah (who plays Fred) and Jackson told me a bit more about their idea, and it just made my day. My weekend.

I made a thing that got these kids so excited, they wanted more. I wrote a story that captured their imaginations. I gave them a plot for a show they so enjoyed, they wanted to do it again, see what happened next. For this creator’s heart, that’s just…amazing. It shows me, yet again, that it’s bigger than me. It shows me the power of story, and how I’m just one participant in it.

It shows me why it’s worth it. Why it matters. Why it’s important. After one of the shows, another of the dancers, Ellie, found me to reiterate exactly this, which brought tears to my eyes. That my story matters. My writing changes lives.

Before each big scene, there was a voice-over narration that told a bit about the story we were about to see unfold through dance, and in the second act, most of the lines were taken straight from the book. And guys, tears filled my eyes again as I heard my words over the speaker-system. As that narrator’s voice spoke about choosing to embody joy, choosing to cling to the miraculous, choosing not just to plod through life doing the expected, but to live, to live with cheer and happiness and delight, my heart just overflowed with exactly that. Because this ballet did exactly what the whole point of the story was–it brought people together and gave them a reason to celebrate.

At the end of the show, it’s Christmas music they’re dancing to, and the audience was invited to sing along to “O Come, Let Us Adore Him.” Such a wonderful final call to leave us with–the whole point of the season. The whole point of everything.

There were readers who came to every show just to see me, and to you–thank you. It was so, so wonderful to meet you all, to sign your books, to give you hugs and take photos with you.

To Mimi and the entire cast of the show, you have made my year. My decade! I will never, ever forget the joy of sitting in your audience and seeing our story come to life. Anna, Mariah will always have your face in my mind from now on, and we’re still talking about how you conveyed so much with your eyes. Jackson, you were an even better (and taller!) Cyril than I had imagined, and I loved watching you bring so much humor to the role. Corban, you played an awesome Danish lord with the gravity that suited him…and then the discovery of joy that made him into a hero too. Lacy, your crazy and expressive Skylark was a brilliant adaptation of my slightly-nutty old man, and you lit up the stage each time you stepped onto it. Lauren, I know it was against your happy nature to keep from smiling so long as you played my grieving Louise, but when you finally could let that smile shine, it moved my heart and was such a moment of victory! Jonah, when Fred hoisted that key high and then jumped into the toy line…I still laugh when I imagine it. Jessica, you are SO much nicer than Pearl, who you played so very well, and I love the guys’ idea to give you a redemption story! 😉 Also, all those pearl accents on your costume were just genius. Natalie and Dustin, when you brought the backstory to life, it was sheer delight! Ella, Rachel, Megan, Olivia, Ellie, Evie, Adeline, and Catie…all those Nutcracker callbacks, the mice and Mouse Queen numbers, the flowers and dewdrops and Sugar Plum Fairy and Nutcracker prince…more moments when I was grinning like an idiot.

I realize I’m writing a book here, because words can’t quite express how awesome it was, so naturally I have to pile more and more on to try to convey it. 😉

After the final show on Sunday, my friend Karlene came back to the house with us. A couple of the girls had already left, so she ended up crashing there for the night, thanks to snow in the passes on her drive home. Which was lovely. We ended up having a hair-braiding party in the kitchen (which was hilarious too). We told final stories. We exchanged final hugs. I had one final night of not-sleeping (I could NOT turn my brain off the whole time I was there–I was like a 5-year-old at Christmas for 5 days straight!), and then it was off to the airport ridiculously early, and my euphoria finally, finally began to settle down into contentment.

I knew I’d crash when I got home. Seriously, I was running on pure adrenaline, barely sleeping, from Thursday through Monday, I was darting around, I was talking a mile a minute, I was running up aisles and down stairs, I was making a whole lot of jazz hands in an effort to show my enthusiasm, and “vibrating for days,” as David said. It took me a solid week for this introvert to recover, LOL.

And as my mama wrapped her arms around me Sunday morning in the still-dark kitchen of that so-charming rental house as we waited for the men to come downstairs, she said, “It was so good to see you with your friends. So good to see your joy.

And that’s what it was. A weekend of friendship. A weekend of euphoria. A weekend of giddiness. A weekend of laughter. A weekend of discovery.

It was a weekend of joy. Pure joy. And that is so fitting…because that’s what Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor was all about.

And good news! 😉 You can purchase the recording of the show and see for yourself what a fantastically amazing job Fidele Youth Dance Company did in bringing it to life!

Order the Recording!