Word of the Week – Cyber

Word of the Week – Cyber

Today’s word comes to us courtesy of my daughter, who texted me after a class in college to ask, “Have you ever done cyber as a word of the week? Mr. Schulman was just telling us about it! Look it up!” So, having trained my whole family to be so word-of-the-week minded, how could I do anything but obey? 😉

Cyber.

To us today, this word-forming element, usually used as a prefix, means one thing: the internet. Cyber– is reserved for things that live online or promise access to what is online. But…why? Ever pause to think of where this word came from? You’re in for a surprise!

Cyber- was coined by a US mathematician, Norbert Weiner, in 1948. Yep, you read that right. Looooong before the internet as we know it, we had the word. And it was actually coined as cybernetics. I confess I didn’t actually know what that means, not precisely. But upon looking it up, I see that it means now what it was created to mean 80ish years ago: “the theory or study of communications and control.”

Okay. So, knowing that was the starting place, we can see how the internet became THE means of both communication and control.

But let’s trace it back a little further. Why did Weiner choose this word? Best guess is that he based it on the French word, cybernetique, which means “the art of governing.” Makes sense, right? The art of governing IS communication and control. But then, where did the French get the word?

As it turns out, it goes all the way back to Ancient Greek (as so much does). The Greek word is kybernetes and it means “steersman,” or, metaphorically, “a guide.”

So from someone who literally steers and then metaphorically guides, we get the art of steering and guiding a whole people–government. And from governing, we get the study of what allows to govern–communication and control. And from the the means by which we moderns do that so instantaneously, we get anything that has to do with advanced technology.

A quote from New York magazine in 1996 calls cyber “the perfect prefix. Because nobody has any idea what it means, it can be grafted onto any old word to make it seem new, cool — and therefore strange, spooky.”

Yyyyyep. I think we’ve seen that borne out!

 

Word Nerds Unite!

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Creativity and Friends – The P&P Retreat

Creativity and Friends – The P&P Retreat

The last week of September, 13 people gathered at a beautiful beach house in Waves, North Carolina–very near Rodanthe in the Outer Banks. We came from Tennessee, Wisconsin, Oklahoma, Texas (x2), Virginia, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and North Carolina. We ranged in age from 15 (that would be my son, LOL) to 82, and everything in between. We had quilters, writers, readers, and cross-stitchers.

And something even better: the truest fellowship.

All these guests are either members of my Patrons & Peers group or a spouse (or son, of course) of one. We all know each other from our Marco Polo chats, our emails, and the texts and phone calls and visits that have resulted from this community. Though 80% of us are self-proclaimed introverts who blend into corners as much as possible in most social situations, there were no wallflowers here. Because though we’ve only known each other a year and a half or less, we are true friends. Community. Family. A tribe.

“These are my people,” Pam had told her husband, who joined her on the retreat. And we all laughed as he agreed and marveled. “I didn’t know anyone but Pam actually talked like this,” he said. Like this would mean that we sat and talked books and stories and authors, we talked about our families and our struggles, our faith and our hopes. We waved hello to each others’ kids and grandkids on video chat, we took walks on the storm-scarred, super-moon-king-tide-barely-there beach, we ate too much and laughed unceasingly, and we planned where we’d go next and when.

This was our second P&P Creative Retreat. The “rules” I set out were that in the main part of the day, we work on what brings us joy creatively. Deanna and Candice set up in the basement with their sewing machines and quilt blocks. Bethany and Cindy spent their days at the beach with books in hand. Betty alternated between reading and cross-stitching on the couch next to mine, while I wrote feverishly to get a book finished. Bonnie and Pam and Pam’s husband Steve did some sightseeing, some reading, and juggled day-jobs from their laptops. Caroline did some writing tutorials she had saved and needed quiet for, and played around with a fairy-tale retellings. Danielle got a start on the fifth story in her Harbored in Crow’s Nest series of historical romantic suspense books. My husband, David, worked on a screenplay, and my son, Rowyn (who only made appearances with the group for meals, LOL), built worlds in his favorite games.

And then we’d all converge for dinner, and we’d settle on those couches, and we’d talk about everything, we’d laugh, we’d have some ice cream, and we’d deepen the friendships that were already so miraculously strong.

As the organizer of this whole group, I have to say that the thing that struck me most and deepest was realizing that these wonderful ladies who came together there at the beach, had created such strong bonds and connections well before this. Candice talked about how she and another member, Nicole, who couldn’t join us on retreat, text regularly about books. Pam got to meet Laura on a drive through her area. Hannah F has met so many ladies who visit California. The Houston area girls get together for dinners, rodeos, and sleepovers. Lynn has hosted several ladies who came to her part of Texas, either for a meal or an overnight. We talk about each others’ families like we know them. We ask for updates, because we know what’s going on and we care. We pray for each other, we talk about everything.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “this is such an amazing group” from the members. And it is. I can take no credit for that, other than starting the thing. THEY are the ones who made it work, who opened up, who reached out, who embrace these new friends in the Spirit. They’re the ones who take the time to talk, to text, to meet up, and to travel to get-togethers like this one. They’re the ones who wrap their arms around each other and declare us all a family.

As always, I’m humbled by my awesome “Roseanna Girls,” as Bonnie has dubbed us all. I’m thrilled at the time I got to spend with them. I’m excited for the next retreat, which is already being planned and discussed and debated. I’m grateful for each hug, each word of encouragement, each glimpse of a generous and God-filled heart I received that week.

I never actually take the time to get out my phone and take pictures at these things, but the fabulous Pam lent me some of hers, and we took some group shots before various departures (we missed Cindy and Bethany though, sorry!). So here’s a glimpse of what true fun, true fellowship, true book-loving family looks like. (It’s a slider, so click to advance to the next!)

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Choosing a Word of the Year

Choosing a Word of the Year

Although we still have 3 months left in 2023. I wanted to re-share this post on HOW to choose a word of the year now. This will hopefully spark ideas and help guide you to choosing a word for 2024. I also wanted to remind you to check in with your word this year. How has it affected your daily life? Have you noticed a shift in focus? Maybe you didn’t choose a word for 2023, it’s not too late! Or maybe you need to update your word for this final season. Whatever the case, I hope you find some useful information here.

Originally posted 12/22/22

For well over a decade, I’ve been doing the “word of the year” thing. In 2021, my word was “Intentional,” and a funny thing happened…I was getting a lot of hits on that post. But not (sadly) because people were so interested in my word. No…people were interested in CHOOSING an intentional word for the year.

For good reason! Choosing an intentional word of the year is not only fun but inspiring and aspirational. So as this old year winds down and a new one is on the horizon, I decided it may be helpful to write a bit about the practice, not just about my word in particular.

What Is an Intentional Word of the Year?

Some people make New Years Resolutions, and that’s great. I’ve done those many years, because there’s something about writing out my goals and decisions that makes me want to stick to them more than a vague “Maybe I’ll…” mental goal. But resolutions aren’t for everyone, and they’re not for every year. Still, as the calendar turns over, many of us want to recognize that this new year is something NEW. We want to set down in writing something to guide us through the twelve months to come. So if we’re not doing resolutions…what do we do?

An alternative- to New Years Resolutions is a Word of the Year. It can also just be an addition to New Years Resolutions, if you want both a set of goals and something to govern them.

In general, an intentional Word of the Year is when you choose a word that is meant to be your inspiration, aspiration, hope, goal, or motivation that will underscore EVERYTHING for you in the year to come. Maybe it’s meant to remind you of your faith or God’s promises. Maybe it’s meant to help you focus. Maybe it’s meant to reassure you throughout the year or inspire you to something greater.

Whatever your particular need or purpose, choosing a Word can help you make decisions, keep your eyes on the proverbial prize, and motivate you to keep going through challenging times.

How to Choose an Intentional Word of the Year?

But once you’ve decided to choose a word of the year, that leaves an important question: HOW?

When I first started out, I had in my head that this word had to be something from God, not something from my own mind. I would start praying about it a week or more in advance, and wait for a word to just hit me.

Sometimes it did—in a song, in my Bible reading, in my prayer, in my daily conversations.

But sometimes…it didn’t. God being silent? My heart not listening? I have no idea. But I did notice that the years I had a Word to guide me were years when I made better choices, when I clung more tightly to His promises, when I kept my focus more on His Kingdom and less on my own little (ahem) empire.

I wanted to have a word. I wanted to have a word every year. And finally I realized that I didn’t have to wait for one to “come to me.”

I could choose a word.

Okay, so I didn’t realize this from my own brilliance, actually. My best friend/critique partner, Stephanie Morrill always chooses a word deliberately. I eventually decided she had the right idea, and instead of waiting for a bolt from the blue, I started being deliberate about my choice.

There are, of course, still many options for how to pick.

Make a List

The first and most obvious way is to simply start making a list. Focus on where you feel you need to work or focus in the year to come, and then jot down different words that fall into that space. For instance, the year I chose “intentional” for my word, I’d started with a list of things I knew needed my attention like: rest, organization, time management, focus on prayer, time with my family.

Once I had a list of things that I wanted to pay attention to, I looked for the through-line and words that could capture that. “Intentional” was a fairly obvious choice for me that time. It was the one word that would govern all those things—I had to be intentional about everything from taking enough breaks to making smart use of my space.

Chances are good that your list from year to year will have a lot of the same themes, but hopefully you’ll be ever growing, so some items will fall off and new ones will come. You’ll also be exiting and entering new seasons of life, and as you do, you’ll find that your list needs to reflect that. Maybe you’ll be balancing a new baby or kids going to school or kids leaving the house; maybe it’ll be sorting through belongings before a big downsize or choosing a new career or finally working on that dream project you’ve been thinking about for years.

Whatever season you’re in, embrace that and make your list—and hence your word choice—reflect it.

Do an Internet Search

Still coming up blank or don’t feel like making a list? You’re in luck! Plenty of people have already done it for you, and you can always do an internet search for lists of good “word of the year” choices and pick one that resonates.

You can search for “word of the year generator” yourself and see if you find a site that aligns with your goals and worldview. Here are a few that turned up in my search.

Jen Fulwiler’s Word of the Year Generator

Mama Smiles Joyful Parenting Word of the Year Generator

Inspire Kinney Chaos Word of the Year Generator

Christian Planner’s Word Generator

Dayspring Word of the Year Quiz

Pray and Listen

If you’re a person of faith, you certainly can use the method I used for years, which was to pray for inspiration for a word and then seek it through that prayer, Scripture reading, church attendance, etc.

As different words resonate with you, write them down and sit with them for a while to see if they really capture something you need to focus on in the year to come. Sometimes a word will hit you so strongly that you just KNOW, and other times you may not be certain at first, so it becomes a matter of which ones sticks with you for a few days.

Once I’ve selected a Word…Then What?

So you’ve figured out which word you want to choose for the year to come. Great! But…now what do you do with it?

I’m a writer, so my first instinct is always WRITE IT DOWN. My bias aside, I think it’s a good instinct. Writing it down—whether on a sticky note, in a notebook, on an index card, in a word processing doc, or in a social media or blog post, will help cement it in your mind and heart and also give you a place to go back to on that day nine months from now when you can’t even remember why you went into the kitchen, much less what word you chose last December or January.

So write it down somewhere and put it in a place where you can’t lose it—if you chose a physical place to write it, tape it somewhere. If digital, bookmark it or put a digital pin in it.

If you’re artsy, considering making a pretty image with the word, which you can display. Or see if you can find a fun notebook or journal with the word on the front, to inspire you throughout the year. If you enjoy journaling or other writing, write a paragraph or a page or a post about why the word resonated and how you hope it will guide you in the year to come.

The idea here is to keep the word present. You want to contemplate this word frequently throughout the year, so either put it somewhere that you’ll see it regularly or consider setting yourself reminders to revisit that will pop up on your calendar. If you’ve written about it, schedule a few times throughout the year to reread what you’ve written—at the end or beginning of a quarter or season is a great time.

Some Intentional Word of the Year Suggestions

Don’t feel like visiting a generator or quiz tool and just want to browse a list? That can be a great way to see quickly what resonates with you or doesn’t! Here’s a list of some suggestions for your intentional Word of the Year:

A-C

Abundance
Accept
Achieve
Act
Action
Adapt
Adoration
Adore
Advance
Adventure
Alive
Allow
Amazing
Ambition
Anchor
Appreciate
Articulate
Ascend
Ask
Attention
Authentic
Available
Awake
Awaken
Aware
Awe
Awesome
Balance
Balanced
Be
Beautiful
Beauty
Begin
Behold
Believe
Belong
Belonging
Beloved
Best
Better
Big
Blessed
Bliss
Bloom
Bold
Boss
Bounce
Boundaries
Bounty
Brave
Breathe
Bridge
Bright
Build
Calm
Capture
Care
Caring
Celebrate
Center
Challenge
Change
Charism
Charisma
Chase
Clear
Comfort
Commit
Committed
Communicate
Compation
Complete
Completion
Compose
Compromise
Confidence
Connect
Connection
Conscious
Consistency
Consistent
Contribute
Courage
Create
Creation
Creative
Creativity
Cultivate

D-G

Dare
Daring
Daughter
Dauntless
Declutter
Decrease
Dedicate
Dedication
Deliberate
Deliberation
Delight
Determination
Determine
Determined
Devote
Devotion
Diligence
Direction
Disciple
Discipleship
Discipline
Dream
Ease
Educate
Education
Elevate
Elevation
Embody
Embrace
Emerge
Encourage
Energy
Enjoy
Enlighten
Enough
Enthusiasm
Environment
Escalate
Examine
Excite
Excitement
Expand
Expansion
Experience
Exploration
Explore
Faith
Faithful
Family
Fast
Favorite
Fearless
Finish
Fitness
Flourish
Flow
Fly
Focus
Forgive
Forgiveness
Forward
Foster
Foundation
Free
Freedom
Friend
Fulfil
Fulfilling
Fun
Future
Generosity
Generous
Gentle
Gently
Give
Glorious
Glow
Go
Goals
Grace
Gracious
Gratitude
Grounded
Grow
Growth

H-N

Habit
Happy
Harmony
Heal
Health
Heart
Here
Higher
Home
Honest
Honesty
Hope
Humble
Humility
Hustle
Imagination
Imagine
Immerse
Improve
Improvement
Increase
Indulge
Inspiration
Inspire
Integrity
Intent
Intention
Intentional
Intimacy
Intimate
Intuition
Journey
Joy
Jump
Kind
Kindness
Laugh
Laughter
Lead
Learn
Less
Life
Light
Linger
Listen
Live
Love
Magic
Magical
Manifest
Meditate
Memories
Mindful
Mindfulness
Moment
More
Mother
Move
Nature
New
No
Now
Nurture

O-R

Observe
Open
Organize
Overcome
Pardon
Partner
Passion
Patience
Pause
Peace
Permission
Persevere
Persist
Perspective
Play
Positivity
Possibilities
Possibility
Possible
Power
Powerful
Practice
Praise
Pray
Presence
Present
Prime
Probable
Progress
Progression
Prosper
Purpose
Question
Quiet
Re-brand
Receive
Reclaim
Reflect
Relax
Release
Renew
Renewal
Reset
Resolve
Respect
Rest
Retreat
Revive
Rise
Rise
Romance

S-U

Satisfaction
Savvy
Seek
Self
Self-care
Self-love
Serene
Serenity
Share
Shift
Shine
Siblings
Simple
Simplify
Sister
Sisterhood
Slow
Small
Smile
Son
Soul
Soulful
Spark
Sparkle
Speak
Spirit
Still
Strength
Strengthen
Stretch
Strive
Success
Support
Surrender
Surroundings
Survive
Teach
Think
This
Thoughtfulness
Thrive
Today
Touch
Tranquil
Tranquility
Transform
Transformation
Travel
Treasure
Trust
Truth
Try
Undaunted
Understand
Unique
Unlimited
Unstoppable

V-Z

Value
Vision
Visionary
Vulnerability
Vulnerable
Wake
Wander
Wellness
Whole
Wholehearted
Why
Wild
Win
Winning
Wisdom
Wise
Wish
Wonder
Work
Worship
Worth
Wow
Yes
Zeal
Zealous
Zest

Some of My Word of the Year Choices

If you’re looking for some context of how and why people choose the words they do and perhaps how they play out through the year, you’re welcome to browse my previous years’ choices, and then the end-of-year reflections upon them.

2022 Word of the Year: Devotion
Reflection of 2022 Word of the Year: Devotion

2021 Word of the Year: Intentional
Reflection on 2021 Word of the Year: Intentional

2019 Word of the Year: Promise
Reflection on 2019 Word of the Year: Promise

2017 Word of the Year: Overcome

2016 Word of the Year: Mine

 

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Word of the Week – Barbarian

Word of the Week – Barbarian

When we call someone a barbarian, it has some definite tones of insult going on. But was it always that way? I remember reading in school about how really, the word was just from Barber, a foreign land to the Greeks and Romans.

And that’s true…but.

But even in the days of Ancient Greece, there was still a note of insult in barbarian–it not only meant “foreign,” it meant “foreign, incomprehensible, ignorant.” Even the Greeks considered those who didn’t speak their language or understand their ways to be inferior. Less so in truly ancient days, but after the Greco-Persian war–Persians being the ultimate barbarians to them–there was DEFINITELY negative connotations

Interestingly, Romans were considered barbarians to the Greeks as well…but then when Rome conquered Greece, adopted the word, and began to apply it to other areas. It’s traveled down through the centuries from there, arriving in English in the 1400s. It was used throughout the Middle Ages for pagans, foreigners, and especially those from the Barbary Coast. By 1610 it was used for any “rude, wild person,” but was still considered a step closer to civilized than savage.

Word Nerds Unite!

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Professional

Professional

I’ve held a few jobs in my life. I spent my college years as an “office slave,” as I called it, so I can attest that not all jobs are lifestyles or passions or careers.

Some are one of those things, or two. Some are all of them. And I always knew that, with dreams of being a creative and making a living at it, that’s what it would take. Building a career as a novelist would require passion, and it would be my life. I’m not just a mom or a homeschool teacher who writes on the side. I am a novelist.

The thing with pursuing any work with the kind of determination that leads to it becoming a career is that you drive so hard, so long, that you run the risk of burnout. Worse, you run the risk of losing the passion and seeing only the work. That’s often when creatives step away–sometimes entirely, sometimes just for a season of rest. Or they dial it back. Or they make some other change.

For the past several years, my writing and design income has supported out family–and I’ll be honest, it was extremely satisfying to be able to do that. To say to my husband, “You’ve worked a lot of years in a job you mostly hated so that I would have the freedom to write–pursue your dreams now.”

What I didn’t realize at the time was that my flagging energy wasn’t just from overwhelm, it was from a pituitary tumor literally sapping me of strength and clarity. I worked with it for years, and I worked hard. I was, as my husband put it, in “professional athlete mode.” I trained my creative muscles, I worked them out, I exercised them. I showed up on game day, and I got the job done. It was work I loved, but it was still work. Sometimes it left me dry. Sometimes it left me exhausted. Never ready to give up–never!–always so grateful I got to do this work. But it came with a cost.

Creativity always comes with a cost, which is strange. It drains and it fills. It gives life and it takes life. I like to think of it like a garden. It gives immeasurable peace and satisfaction, it produces a harvest that will fill you and delight you, and tending it can soothe your soul…but you can’t ever stop that tending, or it’s all over. Sometimes the garden doesn’t get enough water and it dries up. Sometimes it gets too much. Sometimes you leave for a week and come back and it’s overrun.

The creative life can be the same way. We need it, we love it, it fills us up…but sometimes it also takes all our spare time and doesn’t seem to give anything back, or our expected successes are snatched away…like when the deer get the fruit and veggies the night before you were going to harvest (yep, we’ve had that happen!).

I’ve written about bits and pieces of this in my  “Let Me Tell You a Story” segment in my newsletter, so you’ve possibly read my thoughts on this before. But they bear repeating, or expounding on if you haven’t seen those.

Creativity is like a garden–it will give, but it also needs to be fed. If you’re feeling dry and burned out, burnt up in the scorching sun of life, then it isn’t necessarily time to pack it in and retire to your air conditioning and just say, “I can’t. I don’t care anymore.” It’s time to refill the well. Let the water overflow. Get back to the first love.

For me, that meant not just focusing on what I had to do–but rather, taking time to just create, when it meant nothing. When there were no deadlines or strings attached. When it’s just fun. I hadn’t done that in…years.

After I shared about it in my newsletter, I heard from people who’d had the same experience with their music, with their art, with teaching. Things they’d begun because they were passionate about them…but over the years, the passion wore away and left them just with the job. There was no joy in it anymore.

So the musician took some time to sing some old favorites just for herself, not for the choir. The artist turned to some sketches just for fun. The teacher put aside lesson plans with demands and remembered her own favorite days in school, what led her to that job, and pondered how to bring that to the kids today.

Rekindling a first love isn’t usually all that difficult…but it does have to be purposeful. It has to be tended with care. Nurtured. Appreciated.

We work hard to be professionals in our fields, to turn our love into our careers. But we also have to remember what brought us here. We have to cling to that seed. We have to take time for the joy of it, not just the job of it.

I’m so blessed to be a professional writer. But one of the most amazing lessons I’ve learned in the past year is that sometimes I need to set aside the professional…and just be a writer.

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